Roaming through the night to find my place in this world…

Well, hello there. I know it’s been a small century since I last wrote, but I suppose the whole concept of the internet is getting, truth be told, a little bit boring. I mean, I love having access 24 hours a day, but since I can get on at almost any time, it’s not so special anymore. It might just be the aging process slowly beginning to overtake me. 😉

So, in my absence of writing, you may be wondering what great adventures I’ve been having, and what great and wonderful things I’ve been doing. Well, I really hope you don’t think I’ve had too much fun.

But, one of the many current issues on my mind is one I wish to write about at the moment.

Last Tuesday, whilst hanging out in the Activity center (aka the commons) at my college, I saw this really cute guy. His eyes were, in a good way, piercing. Another thought for pondering; I will never again have someone tell me that love at first sight doesn’t exist; I know that it does, because something that doesn’t exist simply cannot happen to a person such as myself! If that says anything…Anyway.

He and a friend of his had a few hours to wait until they were going to work concession stand at a volleyball game. I stayed, and felt almost magnetically drawn to this guy, whose name is Jared. And, he had an mp3 player and a song I ‘had to hear’, which thankfully gave me a reason to sit right smack dab next to him. I stuck around when he and his friend worked concession stand.

Then, neither of them felt like going to their respective homes, so we ended up in the computer lab. A friend of mine only had a few more minutes to work, so after she was done there, we walked down to the OK House, a place to hang out that’s by the dorms. After a while, the other guy (whose name I kinda forgot… oops) left, so Jared and I were pretty comfy on the couch. Only, I grabbed a blanket because I figured that Lillian and RJ would get a bit disturbed by the way Jared liked to stick his hand in my shirt. ^^;

When the OK House got locked up, Jared spent a couple hours in my room, where we came really close to… well, you know. He was going to stay until I fell asleep, but I was too much enjoying how he smelled, and feeling someone next to me that I wouldn’t let myself fall asleep until he left.

So, naturally, I kinda got really really attached to him…. And, I knew he wasn’t looking for a long, serious relationship, but I was and still am too lonely to care. I’m so damn tired of being alone all the time. All I want is a cuddle buddy…you know… someone to just…lean on.

So, today, I was really not in a good mood. Not only because he’s a natural flirt, but because I get way too attached to people… after all, the ‘love at first sight’ business didn’t help… but I talked to him a bit, and for now, I’ve made my peace.

And, my day got better. I lost my keys. They can’t be in my dorm, because I drove up campus, and my car key is on that lanyard; all my keys are. I tore up my car, at least four different times, and I didn’t see them. They’re not in my bag, or my purse. I checked the choir room, and all the bathrooms I used today. The last place I remember having them is in the AC, so I’m hoping someone picked them up. Otherwise, to put it bluntly, I’m in deeep shit.

Mainly because I need to pick a friend up tomorrow, and I’ll probably have to borrow Lillian’s car. Then, hopefully I’ll be able to find my keys before I have to take said friend home. It’s just… stress I do not need at this point.

I need five bucks (which Vanessa is going to give me tomorrow) to get a substitute key, because I need in my room. Mainly because I am dressing up for Halloween, and I need my stuff. I’ll probably be spending the night in a friend’s room, because I need the five bucks before I can get the sub key. Not happening tonight.

It’s just…I don’t need this right now. And I know the problem will solve itself… I keep telling myself that, I’m just not sure I believe it at the moment. Oh well. Negative thinking in this instance will not get me anywhere. The way I see it, being all depressed about it isn’t going to find me my keys faster, so I see no point in it. If it can’t better the circumstances of the situation, why do it?

But, whatever. I grow tired of trying to sound intelligent, and there is someone waiting to use the laptop I’m on… so I will talk to you all at another time.

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