And I know that it was just the fear of flying

“And I know it’s hard to keep myself from crying, but when my tears are washed away you’ll still be blind….”

Another great excerpt from a Thomas Dolby song.

Well, in response to a few buckets of crap that have fallen out of my mouth recently, I’ve gotten quite the outpouring of sentiment, from members of a forum on Mr. Dolby’s official site, of all places.

You might be wondering how a bunch of pixelated outpouring from strangers halfway across the country, and the world, would make any difference to me, and to tell the truth, I’m wondering the same sort of thing.

Nonetheless, I feel a little better. I know the world is not half as bad as my depressed episodes would like me to think… granted, it’s not all sunshine and roses…but it can be an alright place at times. 😉

I have a few things I need to do tomorrow. Such as, my father says I have to call the college to ask if I passed the online class. I think he’s technilogically a bit dense, since calling the college to know my grades is uncesessary. My GPA is above a 2.0, which is all I needed to keep my financial aid.

So I’m hoping that my assumptions are correct; that my status as a full time student at NIACC is intact. 
If this is confirmed by the people at financial aid, I’m hoping that will lessen the blow of the fact that I got an incomplete in that class.

Unless I, of course, lie again. Right now, that’s not something I want to do, but caught in the stress of the moment, I may just blurt the lie out without really thinking… Similar to people that are angry saying something they don’t mean….

Who knows. I may just have to pay the piper… which may mean getting my mode of transportation taken away, unless I can come up with a good reason to keep it (ie. work). Even though I don’t generally work during the week.

My father also mentioned asking when we can move back into the dorms at NIACC, because he is bent on doing a comprehensive clean up session of my room. He is convinced he needs to do so.

And to tell the truth, my dorm room is a bit of a pit… Partly due to the fact that the last day we could move out before Spring Break, I was tearing through my room, deciding what to take…

Whatever day we can start moving in, I plan on telling my dad a day late so I will have some time to get there before him, so the mess will not be quite so bad.

And honestly, I don’t usually let my dorm room get messy, because I spend so much time there… But the last few weeks before holiday break, I had a lot going on, so I just kind of let the state of my room deteriorate.

And, I’m planning on hanging out with my best friend tomorrow… She and I were going to hang out tonight, partly to celebrate David Bowie turning 60, but her parents sprung a surprise, overnight trip to the casino at her. She felt a bit obligated to go, since she spent so much of her holiday break away with her boyfriend.  I understand that.

Her parents can be a bit hard to please, sometimes, too, and if she can keep in their good books a little bit longer by agreeing to go on this trip with them, power to her.

Well, I suppose I should be getting to bed, since a sporadic bout with insomnia kept me up until 2:30am this morning.

Peace, scarlet macaw feathers, and love,


One thought on “And I know that it was just the fear of flying

  1. Write again soon… we’re all wondering how you are!

    “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” – Dr. Seus

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