Our voice is strong, our future’s bright, thanks to what we learned from you…

“We’ve grown into the Children of the Night”.
-Richard Marx, “Children of the Night”.

Be happy all, you get yet another entry from me today. I guess you can say it’s in response to a comment left on my last entry.

I didn’t know that Ellen had known Chad’s best friend before she knew Chad. I never meant to imply anything about how long anybody knew anybody, and at this point, I don’t really think it matters.

So anyway. Today was kind of a crappy day, and it started off pretty boring. My mom had a list of chores for me on the table, two of which I did before heading to NIACC. Even though I was previously told by my parents not to go to school on days I didn’t have class,  I don’t care. It’s nearing the end of the year. I don’t know how much I will get to see my friends once the school year is over, so I plan on seeing them as much as I can until school ends. Anyway. I got dressed, and drove to school. Not long after I got there, Chad got there. Actually, he’d probably been there before me, but I first saw him not long after I arrived.

Anyway, back at the lab. Ellen being with the other guy was really tearing Chad up. Both Ellen and the other guy knew that, and neither were doing anything about it. All Chad asked is that they break it off for now. I don’t think now is the time for a relationship. At least wait until the divorce is finalized.

That’s one of the reasons why Chad didn’t dive back into a relationship with me. That, and he wanted to make sure he knew in his heart I wasn’t his default option. Like, if something else doesn’t work out, I can always come back to this person.

I already know he isn’t my default option by any means, and I will wait as long as it takes for him to work this out. You can’t rush things in this area, and I realize that. When I was on the phone with Chad lastnight, we talked about that stuff. I hope I end up with him when this is all over, and so does he, he just has some things to work out first.

With that being said. I do not mean to imply that Ellen and her other guy have it easy, because believe me, I know this is a tough situation for everyone. I would explain their side, but it really isn’t my business, and besides, who says they want everyone who catches sight of this blog to know about it? I am pretty open in my blogs, you know this by now if you read them regularly, but there is a line, and right now, in that area, I am not willing to step over it.

But damn. It seems like every single one of my friends is having their own bouts of drama at the moment. With Jenny, her constant money struggle with people. A bit of that is Jarrod’s problem too. And Chad, Ellen, me, and the other guy with our drama square. And Vanessa is always having problems with driving and such, plus, her mum is in the hospital.

It seems like we can barely catch a break nowadays. I only hope things really look up in the near future. We need a ray of sunshine in the rainstorm that has been today.

Speaking of rainstorm, it has practically been pouring all day. I’m sure that did a lot to brighten our sinking moods today.

Still. I do like that you people are actually commenting on my blog and giving me some insight. Keep in mind that I accept your comments, even if I do not agree with them, but if they are senselessly mean,  hurtful, or stupid in any way they will be deleted. I know, I leave myself open for all that smut by posting this stuff on the internet, but I will not leave a senselessly stupid comment on my blog. I do read them though, so the message still gets to me, but I generally do not wish other goers to my blog to witness such comments.

Tomorrow, I need to turn in my application at the hotel not too far from my house. I really really want that job. I wouldn’t even have to waste gas commuting to work, because it’s within walking distance of my house. I have my fingers crossed, not only with that job, but getting more hours at Picnic by the Lake. I might stop by there tomorrow and ask if they know when I’ll work again. I’ll also mention that now that I am done with classes, I can litterally work whenever they need me.

I really want to get money saved up, so I can get the hell out of my parents’ house. Their idea for next year is for me to be a full time student (provided I can get financial aid), and for me to live at home.

I am not flying with the live at home part. The only reason I am still here right now is the fact that I can’t afford to get an apartment. I figure, if I work my ass off this summer, I can save up enough money to get myself a cheap apartment when next fall rolls around. Even if I only end up being a part time student, I am looking into getting an apartment. And, if it’s big enough, I can offer my other friends who are looking for apartments a place (that way, rent and such expenses would be easier to handle). I know Chad needs a place to stay in the long run.

All I know is, I need to get out of this house, and I am really trying to make that happen, but it will be a while…

Well, this entry is plenty long. Feel free to leave me comments, just, keep them civil.

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2 thoughts on “Our voice is strong, our future’s bright, thanks to what we learned from you…

  1. Quicker, I couldn’t have said it better. Mel, you really are a truely lovely, lovely girl who has much to offer. Clearly you are head over heals. Take it from an old gal who’s been burnt more than a few times (this is not coming from me as Chad’s ex–it’s coming from me looking back at where I’ve been for the last decade)… since Chad needs time anyway, FORCE youself to FIND something about him that you can criticize. I know it sounds wierd, but if you REALLY think you want a relationship with the guy (or any guy, for that matter) you should go into it with your eyes wide open. Meaning, make a list of their bad qualities and ask yourself if their bad qualities are something you can live with or not. Sometimes you have to get into it before you really know, but sometimes you can rule crap out pretty quick too. This is from one gal to another… probably you are like me in that you like the thought you can make someone who is hurting feel better. That’s always nice. Once you are in it though, especially if you are living with him, that’s when it’s not so much fun and games. Make yourself step back and see the things you probably would rather pretend are not there.

    And Mel, I’m really NOT okay with you posting stuff about me. Concentrate on Chad’s stuff (the parts of his life that have nothing to do with me) or your other stuff, but not me or our other friends that you don’t really hang out with. Most of what you have posted, you only know one side, and the other side is no one’s business, like you said.

    P.S. Chad says he agrees with Quicker, and he agrees with me. Give him a ring on the phone if you care to confirm it. Best wishes and good luck with your job search.

  2. P.S. “To share expenses” is the quickest way to muddy the waters and kill the romance as far as moving in with any man. Don’t move in with a man. Ever. Until you’re married to him. For real. I’m not trying to be some religious nut here, I’m speaking first from experience (I’ve lived with TWO guys before getting married to them… divorce both times) and second from some recent studies that show that if you move in with your partner before you marry them, you’re more likely to be doomed than not. Share your apartment with another girl. Or two or three. But no guys. The honeymoon disappears too fast when you’re trying to figure out how to pay the electric and buy the groceries when you don’t have enough for the rent.

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