How will I know?

Hello all. It’s been a bit since I updated the blog, so I figured I would drop you all a line. Just to make sure you knew I didn’t die or anything. 😉

Today I got some great news. Heartland Inn called me back, and I’m going in on Monday morning to fill out some paper work. In other words,


Thank God; my parents will finally ease up on me just a little bit. The only downside is that I have to go shopping for khaki pants to wear at work, because jeans aren’t allowed, and I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t go for the ‘camo clad housekeeper’ look either. lol.

I have been banned from the computer for a week, a ban which I broke today to check my e-mail (because I get tons of junk mails) and myspace, stuff like that.

Chad had posted a bulletin that went something along the lines of “what should a person do if they want someone they can’t have.walk away, Or fight for who he wants.I’m purposely not mentioning a name, i just don’t know what to do.i don’t know how to say how i feel to this person. I’m afraid it will affect our friendship.leave me a comment if you want with a suggestion on what i should do.”

I copied and pasted that, so it’s word for word.

It made me worry; but then again, what doesn’t nowadays?

I could listen to my negative, pessimistic side and say I’m being rejected. OR, I COULD TURN A NEW LEAF and believe that I’m the one being talked about. I really don’t have to tell you all which option I hope it is.

Still. I got it from my mom; damn her worrywart genes. I’m probably just (warning: another cliche) making mountains out of molehills, but at the same time I’m telling myself that, I’m also wondering if I have a right to be worried.

Still, for what seems like the first time in my life, I’m going to let myself hope. It might be a mistake; I’m fully aware of that. Getting something good wouldn’t be an achievement if it weren’t a difficult task to complete. Without times like this (in which my stomach is in knots, and I can’t think of anything else), I wouldn’t appriciate the times when my life is going well. It’s the same way that peace cannot exist without chaos, and good cannot exist without evil.

Damn, that’s the most philosophical I’ve been in a long time.

Still. The problems with Chad’s phone aren’t helping. It’s not charging right, among other things…

 I finally got a hold of him earlier today, and I was just about to ask him about the bulletin he posted when his phone died.

Damn cellular phones and their inability to work the way we want!

Still. I am trying to put this worry on the back burner for now. I don’t want it to ruin my evening, but at the same time, I will be worried the pot will boil over, creating the wreck of a human being I can be when such emotions get to be too much for me to not know about.

Talk about your average, run on sentence. ^^;

Anyway, it is here that I will end today’s entry.

Please, feel free to leave me comments. Even if I don’t like them, I will not delete them unless it’s something else my blog readers do not need to see.


2 thoughts on “How will I know?

  1. It is not pessimistic to believe he speaks of someone other than you, it is realistic. After all, his own words state “what should a person do if they want someone they can’t have…” You have made it abundantly clear to the world that he can have you at any time in a heartbeat.

  2. But maybe he doesn’t know that.
    I mean I’ve been trying to let him know, but maybe he still doesn’t… I’ve been meaning to talk with him… I know it’s realistic, but thanks for raining on my parade! XP This is why it’s so hard to be optimistic, because it seems like every time I am, something crappy happens.
    Anyway. Hopefully I’ll get to talk to him today and straighten some of this out.

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