The city is crowded, my friends are away, and I’m on my own…

….It’s too hot to handle
So I got to get up and go ….
-Cruel Summer, by Bananarama

Well hello there, faithful blog-goers. It is, once again, time for an entry, mostly because I have nothing better to do.

My work has been going okay, with the exception of today. I didn’t have that many rooms to clean. All but one were check outs, which are the most time consuming. Someone wrote down on my sheet today that the target time it should take me to do all those rooms is two and a half hours.

So, four hours later, I leave work. I only took so long to ensure that I did a satisfactory job. I didn’t want to rush through it and do substandard work, just to make the time fit within their limits. I need so badly to keep this job, it’s insane. I’ve been going out of my way to do a good job on these rooms, so naturally, it takes me longer.

I’d rather take a little longer and do a great job, than take less time, and do a mediocre job. I was so worried that one of my higher ups on the totem pole would reprimand me for it that I was frightened to tears several times in that four hours. I’m a crybaby, get over it.

I find myself a little bit down tonight. Despite all of my friends being in agreement that “We can’t lose touch over the summer, guys”, I have barely talked to any of them at all; on the phone, through e-mail, myspace- anything. I mean damn, I know all of us are busy with work and our lives right now, but honestly, does it take THAT long to send a simple, “hi, how are you doing, it’s been forever since we’ve talked, what have you been up to” type e-mail or message? I almost feel like none of them care, though I know that’s not the case.

I’ve talked to Vanessa a bit, through texts and on the phone. I was going to ask if she had plans tonight, but unfortunately, her throat is in the cold grip of tonsilitis at the moment. It’s not contaigous, but still; nobody has something like that and feels like hanging around with people(even if they are her friends).

The only other person I’ve talked to for what seems like an eternity is Jake. He’s a somewhat quiet, and recent addition to our little group of strangeness. He’s nice. He’s funny. And a nerd.

So naturally I want to ask him out.

But I can read body language, so either, he’s one of those social recluse type nerds, or, as is usually the case, he’s just not into me.

Damn. Shot down just short of the runway.

Who knows. I have his number, I’ve half a mind to call him up and ask him what he’s up to. But last time we went to hang out, it was a bit awkward. I couldn’t tell whether to make a move or not, so I just ended up backing down.

Oh well.

It seems like my fate, these days. I don’t want to be pessimistic (who am I kidding), but anyway. It honestly seems like that Fate has a plan for me, and that plan is to be a lonely, 65 year old lady who lives in an old, run down house overrun with hoards of cats, and with plastic flamingos in the yard, complete with their chipping paint and white trash charm.

Still. I know I can’t keep thinking like that and expect to get anywhere. Such is the reason I am trying to remain hopeful. That’s the definition of insanity, isn’t it?: doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I’ve been doing that sort of thing for a while, and it hasn’t worked for me yet; so howzabout I change my methods and see where they take me.

Easier said than done, I’m afraid. Oh well. I really, really hate to sound like my parents, but my time will come.

Hopefully sooner than later. I am trying to make that happen, but certain people don’t seem to want to cooperate, you know? I would really, really, REALLY hate to have to chalk this one up to, yet again, the people I’ve wanted, but never gotten a chance for.


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