Spread your wings and fly away…

Fly away far away
Spread your little wings and fly away
Fly away far away
Pull yourself together
‘Cos you know you should do better
That’s because you’re a free man…
-Queen, “Spread Your Wings”.

Hello again. As I am still currently disallowed from using the computer at home, this entry comes to you from the public library. For that reason I’ll try not to make this entry too terribly vulgur, in case someone happens to glance at my screen at an inopportune time. 😉

Still. I wanted to write about something that is bothering me a bit. But we’ll get to that later in the entry.

First, I shall recount my day whether you want to read about it or not. ;3

It’s only my second day of classes, and I’m already moving like clockwork, although I was a bit too early getting to my first class, so I had time to talk to some friends a bit, scarf down a pop tart, and drink some chocolate milk like it would soon go out of style.

My one class today was, once again, a bit strange. Well… knowing our teacher… She is peppy, happy, hyperactive, bubbly… just about every word you can think of that relates to that sort of personality. But.. she’s not squeaky clean or anything (she says ‘hell’ and ‘damn’ in class if that gives you any idea)… If I’d met her any earlier in my life she probably would have annoyed me, but now I suppose I appriciate it… And, if nothing else, she is very entertaining…

After that, I could have gone home but I chose to stay and use that time to talk with my friends… but our group isn’t as large as it was last year, so I can’t say it was too eventful. Chad was there for a bit, and he looked a bit bummed, so I asked him about it. All he said was he was having trouble with a certain you-know-who which I will not give the pleasure of naming again in here, and that he didn’t want to talk about it. I gave him a hug, which seemed an innocent enough of an idea (I see a friend sad, so I give them a hug; it’s like a natural reaction), but in that 10-20 seconds, my mind wanted to start getting ideas that didn’t really do me any good last time around.

I’m no fool; I’m not going to try rushing into things the second I sniff out troubles with the wifey (like I did the first time), but I can’t help stewing the matter over in my head for a bit.

Chances are, if you have read my blog regularly at all, you know the story of this guy. If you are new, I’ll give an overview. If you know the story, skip ahead to the asterisks.

Chad announced he’s getting a divorce. I had had a crush on him for a bit, and I heard so later he’d mentioned how I was attractive…. So we completely rush into things, and against what I had expected, I fall head over FREAKING heels for this guy in like, a week. It might seem feeble, but I’ve been in love once before… the first time lasted for months but was a stupid tea light compared to this roaring campfire… So for three weeks, I could take on the world. Then, he breaks it off, which I later find out was part of a plan to reconcile with his wife. She found someone else and after Chad broke up with me, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to go through with it anymore. I did reconcile with Chad before the school year ended, though…

***Anyway. A short time before school started I got bored and was looking at random profiles on my Myspace friend list, and noticed Chad had his status back to ‘married’. I figured he and the wife had finally solved their problems and were getting on well with each other.

Not the case. They are having problems again, though as to the severity of these problems, I can only guess. Still…

It seems to me a bit like getting beaten up over and over again and then going back for more. It’s almost like the definition of insanity; doing the same thing over again and expecting a different outcome. Although I must point out that I do not know the wife extremely well, and there are probably a few things that I’m not hearing about.

Still… It seems to me that one would learn from previous actions. Even if the blame is divided between both parties as it usually is, wouldn’t you notice that every time, it’s an endless roller coaster ride of really, really bad times, and some not so bad ones.

Sometimes, people love each other but simply cannot be married or live together… Sometimes, things just get rushed into, no matter how madly in love people seem at the beginning.

Keep in mind that this is all speculation from my standpoint. I wasn’t there, so ultimately I don’t know the entire story. Maybe the two are just treading on some rough turf and all will be tread over eventually. Yes, I know I probably should have listened to the wife before, to anybody who wants to rub it in my face…

But, on the other hand…suppose this matter is truly the one that cannot be worked out… so… and I hate myself for thinking this, but… maybe it’ll turn out I wasn’t wrong about this after all.

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14 thoughts on “Spread your wings and fly away…

  1. What do you mean you reconciled with Chad before the end of the school year? That is certainly news to me, and I bet it would be news to him too. As for our little tiff yesterday, don’t worry, we already kissed, made up, and had fantastic, mind-blowing sex–TWICE. We are a committed MARRIED couple, which I told you before. LEAVE US ALONE!! Keep your fucking bitchy little claws off my husband and do not ever lay your hands on him again.

  2. Did I say I was making advances on him?
    No.
    By reconciling with him, I just meant that I wasn’t so angry at him that I wouldn’t talk to him any more.

    Besides, I did state that I would not try anything again. I specifically stated that.
    This is not like the last time, where we rush into things before we know what’s going to happen.

    And I did mention that this was all speculation, that I didn’t know anything for sure.
    I learned my lesson the first time.
    Besides, he is still my FRIEND, and if you think I’m going to completely ignore him just because he’s married, you’ve got another thing coming.

    So from now on you can keep your vindictive, bitchy little twat of a personality off my blog.

  3. That’s all well and good sweetheart. As holding any stock as a romantic interest, I’ll tell you that Chad’s ship has sailed long ago. Yes, giving him a hug made me remember a few things…. but I will never again even think about being with him, I think you have to know that. However, he is still a good friend of mine… so throwing your sex life at me really doesn’t accomplish anything, except making you look bad. Please don’t do it, I’m not trying to steal him from you, I promise, please don’t be mean to me anymore, I’m not trying to do anything wrong…

  4. I’m not being any meaner to you than you are to me. I just want to make sure you’re not getting your hopes up about anything, because you have no reason to get your hopes up about anything. I just want you to stay out of our business. Do you realize how completely disrespectful it is to speculate about the state of our relationship on you blog? Not to mention completely unnecessary.

  5. You might consider keeping a paper diary rather than a public one. Or if not paper, then a file in a word processor, keeping your blog for more well-planned thoughts that will never, ever be private thoughts again.

  6. I think the wifey needs to mind her own business. If you are soooo secure with him then why do you go read her blogs??? Just a thought

  7. I would say a little hussy coveting my husband IS my business, especially a little hussy who claims to be a friend to him. She has no business blogging about my marriage. SHE is the one who needs to mind HER business. The reason I read her blog is to call her out if she does not mind her business. My husband is not her business, is NOT her friend. Trust me, he is devoted to me. If she doubts his loyalty to me in any way, shape, or form, she can visit his MySpace. What he put on there he did as a surprise to me last night while I was in the shower. Bluesilver needs to get a life of her own and stay out of ours completely.

  8. You have some kind of nerve calling me a hussy who is supposedly coveting your husband. Everyone has thoughts. Does that mean they act upon them? No. And I didn’t. A friend hugging a friend is innocent business. I didn’t TOUCH him after that. So… you apparently have some issues to work out with Chad if you don’t trust him to the point of turning into a rabid bitch at the thought of him having friends that happen to be females.

  9. Mel,fist don’t ever call my wife a bitch or twat or Git.that IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE that your talking about. Second i found it very disrespectful to put me and my wife’s business in your blog.you had no business airing our business out to anyone that reads your blog.

  10. You should have never taken Melody to a motel 8 if you didn’t expect all of this to come back in your in face.

    You made your business her business,when you hit on her, dated her, and when you then didn’t tell her whether you wanted her or Ellen.

    Ellen, shes not gonna go after your man. Shes so much better than that.

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