You are the sun, you are the rain that makes my life this foolish game…

You need to know
I love you so
And I’d do it all again and again….
-Lionel Richie, “You Are”.

Hello there… I TURNED 21 TODAY!!!!! 😀

Back to your regularly scheduled programming….

I had a great birthday today…. It started out early, due to some child outside positively screaming at like, 5:40 in the morning. I wanted to get up around then anyway so I’d have enough time to wash my hair, and get in an hour or two on the computer (since I was given special computer priveledges today) before I left for class. I got two presents this morning. One was the Elton John Greatest Hits two cd set. And one was a four pack of expensive AA batteries for my digital camera…. (I later got Mika’s cd ‘Life in Cartoon Motion’, and a capo for my guitar)….

Anyhoo. I only had one class today…. it was great… And we were only in there for like, ten minutes. It was pretty much a work day (we could go to the comp labs), but the excitement of my birthday made it hard for me to concentrate, so I left the computer lab like, half an hour early. I had a blast in the A.C. today. It was a LOT of fun…. 

Well, except for the fact that a crush I had on this guy like, last year is back in full freaking swing…. That’s actually a lie because it never really left, persay, it just got put on the back burner… The burner way way way in the back….
Still… I was talking to one of my friends and we’re pretty sure that when this guy told me he had a girlfriend (or, when he let other people tell me), it was not completely truthful. It was more than likely a nice way to tell me no. Which, I understand. It can be hard to turn someone down without hurting their feelings…..

Still…. I’m pretty sure the guy thinks I’m insane. If he thinks otherwise, I’m not aware of it. I think he’s about as shy as me, he just hides it better than I do. He’s shy a bit differently than I am, I think. Still…. Dammit! Why am I getting this big uber bad crush back now?

Maybe it’s a sign!

LOL I can dream.

And don’t tell me to tell him how I feel because I tried that once already, and I got turned down flat. More than once…. Still. I don’t want to give up on it. I just don’t think he likes me, and I really don’t want to get my hopes up so far to have them trodden all over again. It’s like getting shot down time after time, and still going back for more. Although they do say that there is a fine line between pleasure and pain.

Still… .I know I have some things in common with this guy. Sense of humor, for instance. To put it lightly, it’s deranged. He’s about as deranged as I am in that sense. Just this morning it was something about threatening a friend with my giant pair of scissors so we could have vodka cookies. xD

Anyhoo. More things in common. He is the only guy I know that can quote Spongebob and Fairly OddParents better than I can. Not that that is a good thing to base a crush on or anything…. And… the shy part. In some ways I really hate liking shy guys. Because I’m so shy, and they’re so shy, usually nothing gets done because neither of us have the guts to do anything about it… That is, assuming they feel the same (which I’m pretty sure he doesn’t… if he does, he’s doing a fantastic job of hiding it).

Still (about the millionth time I’ve written that word today)….. I don’t play video games that much, but I like playing them some, and he’s pretty much a gamer… xD He could totally give me guitar hero lessons. xD

Anyway… It’s really frustrating wanting guys you can’t have. I mean, damn, why can’t I want a guy I can get?

Because it’s no fun, or some rubbish like that. Dammit.

I’ll talk to my friend about it later… because she knows him and at one point he even wanted to date her.


Sorry for that little outburst….

 My momentary jealousy has now morphed into permanent envy.

Damn you, jealousy! *shakes fist*

“But now it matters not if I should live or die
‘Cause I’m only left with my own jealousy”



Sorry couldn’t resist. 😉


One thought on “You are the sun, you are the rain that makes my life this foolish game…

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