I bid you pleasure and I bid you cheer, from a heathen and a pagan, on the side of the rebel Jesus…

-“The Rebel Jesus”, by Jackson Browne.


You probably didn’t expect me back quite so soon, since I tend to write an entry here about every two weeks. I don’t much like writing here unless I feel like I have something somewhat worthy of writing about. BS blog entries go in my Myspace or DeviantArt journals.

Well, today is Christmas, as you all know. My immediate family opened our presents on the morning of Christmas Eve, though. I did get some good stuff.

-Three sketchbooks in varying sizes.
-Duran Duran’s new cd, Red Carpet Massacre
-A 2 cd set by Led Zeppelin called ‘Early Days and Latter Days’.
-A South Park calendar
-The Best of Bowie 1980-1987 cd
-Labyrinth special edition dvd
-A dolphin air freshener for my car
-A $25 gift card to Casey’s (gas station).
-a Snowflake teddy.
-50 new crayola markers.
-Led Zeppelin tee shirt (which I wore today)

So, as you can see, a fantastic haul. I would have been happy with one or two of them, but our family is lucky enough to be able to afford to have these sorts of Christmases.

Today, we went to my aunt and uncle’s to celebrate with them, and my grandparents. Our grandparents don’t really know what we like, so they give my parents money, they get our gifts, and then Grandma wraps them and such… It’s better than them just giving us cash, I think… I got the cd “The Who:Then and Now”. I already have most of the tracks, but on the computer, and I’ve lost the like, 9 track Who hits cd that I had anyway, so it was a great gift. Came with a cd booklet, has some great pictures and some nifty info in it. I also got these colored gel pens, which I wanted for my artwork. And like, two bucks. From my aunt and uncle, I got 20 bucks.

Now, don’t get me wrong, cash is always great to get and I am truly thankful for it, but for years, my aunt and uncle have taken the easy way out with gifts, always getting us gift cards or cash. As I just said, I love getting money as much as the next guy, but sometimes, I want a gift a little more heartfelt than that. The giftcards were nice, but they were generic: a smaller, thoughtful gift can mean more than a larger, generic one. But, I am very grateful that I got anything, although a little more thought would have been nice.
So, the reason I’ve come to this blog as an outlet.

In about four days, I’ll be leaving for Vanessa’s house. I’ll be staying there until Friday or Saturday.

That brings me to my work situation. I need to call the temp agency tomorrow… I think I’m going to work one day.. My dad wants me to work three in a row, but my back can’t handle that. And anyway, I don’t see why I can’t just compensate later. I will see how far in advance I can make my schedule (If I can, I’m scheduling the entire month of January at once).
I have said this many times, but my regular work schedule will not be the lax one I’m having this week. I’ll work every other day, even weekends. I can compensate for New Years week in the weeks after… I just can’t get my dad to see this. I know, I need to earn money, and I need to save up money, and I know this.

As it is, for the trip to Vanessa’s, I have my first, $35 check, the $25 Casey’s (gas station) gift card, a $20 Wal-Mart gift card, $20 from my aunt, and $2 from grandma. That’s One Hundred and Two dollars. I don’t know if my parents are putting any gas in my car, they don’t need to since I’ve  barely driven anywhere except work, and it had half a tank last time I looked. So, I can use 50 bucks on gas (I don’t need to drive anywhere except to Ames and back, with only a couple minor places in Ames), so I won’t use up all that much gas. The fifty two dollars left should be more than enough to get myself some alcohol, and some food to bring, as well as stocking up on some things at one of the Asian food stores in Ames.

So, in a way, I won’t be lent any money for this. This being the case, I don’t really see why dad would be angry if I only work one day this week, and start on the every other day thing  the week of January 6th. In all actuality, I wasn’t going to work at all this week, but I thought that would be a bit wrong (and it is).

I have no idea why my stomach is in knots, it might have been all the holiday food I ate. I’m feeling apprehensive for some reason… For working at Kraft through the temp agency, people make their own schedules, for when they can work. You can either pick locked in hours, or make your schedule every week, I picked the latter.

Because of this, they don’t expect me in on a regular basis. I don’t see why me not working for a week would affect how they see me. If I tell them I am going to be out of town for a week, but commit to a month’s worth of hours, I think that looks pretty damn good. So, I work one day this week… They have been just fine without me, I don’t think one more week wil break the camel’s back.

My dad seems convinced that they will absolutely hate me unless I work three grueling days in a row this week.

My laziness is not a factor, TRUTH is the factor, and the truth is my back simply will not be able to handle that. I am trying to ease into this job. I told the temp agency this, and they understand. My back hasn’t been quite the same since I hurt it during the summer working at Heartland Inn. For that reason, I am trying to be careful in easing into this job.

I know, loading jello cups into boxes for six hours doesn’t sound all that taxing, but considering you have to stand all day and bend over constantly… After six hours of being on your feet and constantly straining your back… You can be in a bit of pain afterwards.

Last time I tried to overdo it at work, I hurt myself.. Summer at Heartland Inn. I was working so hard, and I guess I just overdid it a bit. The doctor said it was back strain. I had to miss one week of work, and I was in such horrible pain, I was begging my parents to either call emergency, or to shoot me. No joke.

I’m sorry, but I don’t want this to happen again. I don’t want to work more than I know I am able at the moment, and have something like that happen. Then dad would be really pissed. Because this time, if I hurt my back, it could be worse. And then I might have to miss several weeks of work, not to mention the cost of the doctor visit and any meds I might need. I have no health insurance, since I’m not a full time college student, so in working one day this week, and then instituting the every other day thing, I am not being lazy or trying to defy my parents yet again, I am acting in my best welfare.

Being lazy for so long, it’s difficult to convince my parents I am doing otherwise, but I really am.  I can understand where my dad might be a little unsettled about me working one day this week, but…

Ahh. It’s just… I really hate how I seem unable to convince him that I’m acting in my best interests here.

I mean, hell, once my body gets used to this job, the every other day thing can go bye bye, and I could work five days a week. I can save up bunches of money, and I will be responsible…. I know I can. This time is different. I know I can do this. It’s just….

There comes a point in one’s life where they must do what is right for them, despite catching flack from their elders. I know what I’m doing is right, even though it’s not what my dad wants. He seems to think I’m just not listening to his advice like I’ve done before, but this isn’t the case.  I really did hear his advice, but… I honestly do think the plan that I have is going to work. Work a day this week, then commit to a month’s worth of work.

I just need to quit worrying about it, every thing will turn out alright in the end, and I know it.

I’ll take the crap I’ll surely get from dad about only scheduling one day this week.

And.. about spending a week with Vanessa… She is like my sister, she’s my best friend in the world, and the week of New Years is more than likely the last time I will see her until the summer. For someone who is like a sibling to you, this does not seem like a whole lot.

If I had to borrow a bunch of money from my folks for this, then I’d understand I should work more days this week than just one, but as of right now, I have my entire trip paid for. I’m not costing my parents any extra to take this trip. I’m not borrowing anything from my parents. It is not costing them a dime.

What I have is my money. The check I’m using is only for one day, not for the three days last week that I worked. So that three days’ worth of money is still going to be saved. That’s $105 dollars that’s still going into my savings.

Now, I have to say this, because of the tripe I may get.

I am thankful for everything my parents are doing. I’ve been showing it more, too. Before I got this job, I was doing the dishes every day. In addition, I’d do any laundry I needed to (except mom’s, she hated me doing her laundry). I would make dinner, and tidy up the house, doing any chores I was given without complaint. I tell them how thankful and grateful I am a lot more than I used to. They deserve it, for fuck’s sake, I’m living in their house, under their roof. They feed me. “My car” is only the term because I’m almost exclusively the driver of it, the car doesn’t technically belong to me. They’ve done so much, they deserve me to be grateful.
Me scheduling only one day this week is not me saying, “Fuck off, I’ll do what I want.”, not at all. I don’t want it to sound that way. My dad might take it that way at first, but I know I can make him see that it is not like that at all.

Considering, I was originally not going to work at all this week, but changed my mind not only on dad’s behalf, but because that will be an extra thirty five bucks that I’ll be earning.

I hope this is understandable.

I’m going to work on some pictures I took today to hopefully distract from the uneasy feeling in my stomach (which, in all actuality, might just be indigestion, I have no idea).


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