Life is strange, and so unsure.. the days you hardly make it through, you swear that there’s a curse on you, and nothing seems to fit, things won’t go your way, you know you’ve had enough, you’ve got the right to say..Why me?

-“Why Me”, by Styx.

Well, I’m going to be honest with you, today’s entry was going to find me in a better mood, with minor things about work at Super 8 that I wanted to rant about, but I guess now I have a better reason to vent.

Yesterday was, as you know, my first day as a housekeeper at Super 8. I had worked at Heartland Inn this summer, so it had been a good three months since I had done hotel housekeeping work.

The supervisor lady I talked to said that, for my first week of work, she would be there if I needed help or had any questions. It’s a new place, with new people, and new things to remember; generally, people get some time to adjust, right?

Apparently not, and I’m sorry, but Super 8 has no room to be snooty or picky about the people they hire, they’f a fucking MOTEL.

The night before last, I lost a lot of sleep, and even though lastnight I slept better, I still haven’t caught up on one night’s worth of sleep. So, for the past couple of days, I’ve been in this sleepy fog.

I tried so hard with Super 8 because it was my last chance. I listened, I never, ever raised my voice or acted snooty with anybody. I tried so hard to make my rooms immaculately clean. You’d think I was a cleaning angel if you saw what this one room looked like when I was done. When I got there, there were crumbs everywhere. They were almost evenly scattered around the entire floor, in every corner. When I was through with it, there wasn’t a speck to be seen, anywhere.

I had just remembered that I forgot a couple towels in one of my rooms, so I went in to put them in. The housekeeping manager (the lady I thought was so nice before) suddenly tells me that ‘after today, I don’t need to come back. My work’s not what she expected, she can’t be following me around.’

Excuse me? Excuse the piss out of me you unforgiving devil woman, but what is this that I thought I just heard? You are ‘letting me go’ after not even giving me three goddam days to adjust to a new job at a new place, and after three months of being out of hotel housekeeping work?

So, was that just bullshit about ‘you’d be with me the first week if I needed help’?

I don’t know of any place, any job, anywhere in the United States that uses how you do in your first two days of work as grounds to either keep or fire you. Seems to me that they should give you at the very least, three days to adjust. And even that seems a little sparse. Three days. I can’t even get three days to get used to how they do things at their hotel. I can’t even get three days to sort of get myself used to working in a new place, with new people.

I can’t think of anywhere that does that. I’m sure that even their best workers probably didn’t do so well their first three days.

It’s three goddam days.

Do you kill a toddler after three days because it still wets itself?

Do you shoot your cat after three days because she’s still not used to the litter box?

Do teachers shoot their students after three days because ‘they haven’t learned something yet’?

Do olympic trainers shoot their student after three days because they’d never be able to win a medal?

Super 8’s flawed logic is exposed when you put it that way.

And I didn’t even get the courtesy of being allowed three days to adjust to a new job.

I don’t get it, I just don’t get it. I was on my BEST behavior at Super 8; I even behaved better for them than I ever did with my parents, EVER, because this job was my last chance. It was the last resort. It was the last hope I had, and now it’s gone, and all because they couldn’t find it in themselves to allow me three days of work.

What did they think, that I’d be the fucking cleaning fairy? And I’d be absolutely perfect on my first two days working at a new place?

WHO DOES THAT GREAT ON THEIR FIRST DAYS AT A JOB ANYWAY? WHAT, DOES JESUS FUCKING WORK FOR THEM OR SOMETHING?

It’s like learning a new skill; nobody is perfect on their first few tries. It’s like a musician that’s out of practice; are they going to be able to pick up their guitar after their hiatus and play like fucking Jimi Hendrix on their first day back? Are they going to be able to sing like Freddie Mercury right away after they’ve been away for so long?

Did it not get through their thick skulls that I am human? So I spaced on some towels in a few of my rooms. Not even airy fairy snooty mc snoot snoot Heartland Inn expected me to be perfect after two days of working there. That’s why people check your rooms after you’re done. Sometimes,  you just forget things.

Like having someone else proofread your paper; they sometimes see things that you didn’t catch. Such is the case with a double check. You could always check my rooms, but bring me along and make me fix whatever it was that I didn’t do, but no.

I thought work went great. You can’t expect me to fix something that I don’t even know is broken. The least you could have done was tell me what I wasn’t doing right so I could rectify the situation and give you the quality of work that you deserve.

Why me?

Stop
Here comes anxiety
Stop
Won’t you please let me be, I need relief
Hard times come, hard times go
In between you hope and pray
The scars don’t show
‘Cause life is strange and so unsure
The days you hardly make it through
You’re sure that there is a curse on you
If nothing seems to fit
And things won’t go your way
You know you’ve had enough
You can’t take another day
Where to go and what to do
You’ve got those bills to pay
You’re really not alone you know
‘Cause everybody says,
Why me

Why me
“Why me? That’s what I want to know. You know what I mean? Huh. I don’t know.”

-Once again, “Why Me” by Styx.

And, to add to this torrent of pain and misery that I find myself in, my parents will probably assume that it was my fault. Do they think I don’t realize how desperate my situation is? No. I know perfectly well how desperate this is right now, and I’m treated unfairly once again? Why is it that every time I try, I am shot down?

So life is life, and life isn’t fair. Yeah, I know. Still.

Why is it that I can never catch a break? Ever? Why can’t I do something right for once?

 Shoot me now, please! Sometimes, I know think the world would be better off without me! Think of it. No retard to be dissatisfied with, I’d be saving people hundreds of dollars, as well as annoyance, difficulty, drama, food, and alcohol. And my dad could drive my car to work instead of carpooling.

But no reason to be alarmed. Even if I wanted to die, I’d be too much of a pussy to ever go through with it.

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2 thoughts on “Life is strange, and so unsure.. the days you hardly make it through, you swear that there’s a curse on you, and nothing seems to fit, things won’t go your way, you know you’ve had enough, you’ve got the right to say..Why me?

  1. Why are you viewing it as your last chance? Ya’ gotta knock that off, or you’ll get so negative that you can’t do anything.

    By the way, when someone says “I’ll call you” for a job and they do not for 2 or 3 days, YOU call them. because while you’re waiting, other people already called. And got the job.

    I know you can’t do anything about lying to the parents or messing up in the past, but you have to work to show them you are an adult- readily admit when you mess up, and don’t put things off to tell them in the future. Other wise,all of a sudden, things pile up and snow ball and then all these problems surface at once.

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