I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello….

Well, this is just fucking fantastic. Fucking great.

I was talking to Tim yesterday, and we made plans to hang out today after he got home. He had gone to Wisconsin for somebody’s funeral. He got caught in a bit of bad weather, but he made it back alright.

Thing is, he’d had a few drinks and didn’t want to drive here. And. I asked where I’d be meeting him. Somewhere in Belmond. Which is fine, I actually know how to get there now, I just wanted to know specifically where I’d meet him.

And all of a sudden he stops answering texts, and I tried calling him at least 10 times, and all I got was his goddam answerphone.

That’s just fucking great. It seems like, every goddam time I try to hang out with him, something happens.

Bad weather. Happened more than once.
Oh, I have to study.
I have lots of homework.
I have to pick up my kids.
Or whatever else. Is it so bad to want to hang out with somebody instead of just wracking up a text message bill, or IMing on the computer? I mean, it’s even nice just to talk to him on the phone, but still. Is it so awful to want to actually SEE somebody? You could have just waited to drink until I got there. Or you could have picked me up, and we could have had a few drinks somewhere. But no.

I had an outfit planned. I even planned how I was going to do my hair, and he’s all of a sudden not answering his text messages and voicemails?

Although. He did warn me that sometimes when he drinks he gets a bit rowdy sometimes, and he didn’t want to put me in a spot like that, but I told him that didn’t matter.

If he had too much to drink and passed out or something, then I mean, it’s still his fault for drinking that much, but he can’t very well answer his phone if he’s sleeping. Still.

He could have at least called me before he drank, so we could set up a plan, but I guess I just won’t see him.

Why does this have to happen all the time? Is it so much to ask to actually see him? I mean, sure, I saw him at school a couple times, but maybe for an hour, TOTAL. And, I did go to a bar with him once for a couple hours, but other than talking on the phone and texting, I never get to even have contact with him. He works night shifts, and is a full time student. With those two things and sleeping, I feel like I don’t get to see him enough. How can this develop into anything if I can’t ever see him?

Why is it always me that’s left sitting at home by myself, pathetically crying, playing the song “Yesterday” by the Beatles over and over….

Seriously. Shit like this is why I never, ever get my hopes up. Because nothing ever works out, so why build up your hopes only to have them come crashing down around you? Why be optimistic, because shit like this always happens to me, even when I try to stay hopeful.

So thanks a lot, life. I love you too.


One thought on “I don’t know why you say goodbye, I say hello….

  1. Well, his excuse about the “other Tim” (the one with the gf who answered the phone) to me, I think its bullshit. I think hes lying, and I think you need to go back to what website you met him and meet someone else, but YOU need to watch out for yourself. Not buy into any story’s right away, take it slow.

    Stay away from men with children and divorces-at your age, your stage in life…this is only baggage.

    I..wanted to tell you I thought he was bad news from the beginning but I realize you might not have listened at that time.

    I wanted to give you this advice before but its hard because I have trouble getting you to see that I have been there, and know where you are coming from.

    I’ll give you my Trac Phone number (its okay for the moment) on myspace.

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