-“Man in the Mirror”, Michael Jackson.
Well, hello there. My last entry found me discussing Tim issues.
If you’re wondering at all, he still hasn’t replied to me at all. I haven’t made any attempts to contact him, because I wanted to see what he would do. As I expected, though, silence and utter nothingness has been all that has greeted me in this area.
And. I can honestly say it isn’t bothering me nearly as much as I would have thought after writing my last entry.
Well. Not to press my new old obsession upon you, but to quote Michael Jackson:
Don’t you come walkin’-
Beggin’- I ain’t Lovin’ you
Don’t you get in my way
‘Cause there’s a time when you’re right
And you know you must fight
Who’s laughing baby, Don’t you know?
And there’s the choice that we Make
And this choice you will take
Who’s laughin’ baby
So just leave me alone…
“Leave Me Alone”.
It’s how I feel about it, really. I did worry about it for a day or two, but then after that, I realized it’s not worth it. I’m not going to sit here and ponder it forever. That’s because I know it didn’t bother him at all, or else he’d have, at the very least, tried to contact me.
As it is, though, I continue to hear nothing, and if he turns out like Jacob where I never hear from him again, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t have a problem with that. I am a little torked off that I got him a hallmark card, and now things are as they are. And, it doesn’t even get to me that much, it’s more symbolic than anything else. A little annoyance at investing time, energy, and cell phone minutes on him only to have my efforts wasted. Good thing I only signed the card’s envelope [that got torn up and thrown away]. As for the card, it will be stashed away until I find someone who deserves it. And yes, that little statement could be taken symbolically as well.
Anyway, let me get to the real reason I wanted to write this entry. As you may or may not know, for the last three days, I have exercised for a half hour a day. And, I’ve drastically cut back the amount of food I’ve been eating. While I’m nowhere near what I’d like to be at eventually, it’s a start, and a big step for me, at that. I didn’t exercise today but I’ll get to that in a bit. It’s just, lately, I’ve felt inspired and motivated, and for no reason that I can think of, except maybe my music.
I’m not sure if I’d ever be motivated if not by the music that I listen to. Lately, Queen, the Beatles, and Michael Jackson have been the most inspiring.
I suppose another motivating factor is, if one is looking to get into music themselves, it helps if they aren’t fat. Which, I know a lot of larger folk that have amazing voices, but I assume it’s easier to get your foot in the door if you’re not (no pun intended, lol). Knowing how great I’ll feel when I transform my body could be the motivation I guess.
Okay. So, after my night class lastnight, I decided to stop at the OK House to see a few of my friends. I had lots of fun singing their small selection of Kareoke songs. I talked for a bit with a few of the people there… While there, I got a lovely idea from my friend Lillian. She mixed a bit of hot chocolate mix with the coffee in her cup.. I decided to try it, and I loved it. So much that I had a total of five mugs of it.
Which made for a sleepless night, and symptoms of caffeine overdose, I found out early this morning. I read a bunch of stuff about caffeine all around the internet…
I would have only had about 500mg of caffeine total, and that’s nowhere near the amount to be harmful, just a little annoying. Plus, my acid reflux has been acting up a bit anyway… Caffeine can aggrivate it a bit, but even decaf coffee can set it off, so that’s probably why it’s bothering me today. Well, that and the fact that I didn’t get any sleep whatsoever lastnight, and I was only able to pull off a 10-20 minute nap today (I have trouble sleeping when it’s light out, even if I cover up my eyes, it’s weird).
But, yeah. I just wanted to get a little update out there.
Still no word on the K-mart or hospital cafeteria jobs, but I’m remaining hopeful. If I got the cafeteria job, I’d have health insurance. If my acid reflux were still bothering me more than normal, I could make an appointment to get some more of the medication I was given for it when I first discovered I had it.
So. Despite my eyes being a bit dry, and having a headache, I am in good spirits.
Until I have something else interesting happen to me, au revoir.