My melancholy blues…

All right. So, I thought I’d give you guys a little update.

This morning, I said that today we’d get my two prescriptions filled, right?

Wrong.

Mom went to check the prices at the Wal-Mart pharmacy, and for just one month of both medications, the total cost would be 300 dollars.

While we can technically afford that.. That’s just outrageous.

There is NO reason that shit should cost that much. Does that fucking doctor think my parents are made of money? I already feel bad enough that I was too pussy to deal with this stuff on my own, and that I have no health insurance, so my parents have to fork out all this shit out of pocket. It’s bad enough I can’t even help pay… All that shit is continuing to drive me mad as we speak. I’ve started to change what I eat, and I want to be more active, but when this shit keeps you up half the night, it really drains your energy just to get around your own goddam  house, let alone working for 5+ hours like I will be doing tomorrow.. That’s not even including doing any extra working out.

Needless to say, I’m pissed, and I feel like shit. Sometimes during the day, it’s almost managable, but right now, all I want to do is go cry, but that will just irritate my sinuses.

I don’t know how I’m going to goddam survive this. I really don’t.

I mean, shit dude. I haven’t even eaten anything since lunch and with the state of my stomach, you’d think I’d just eaten a fuckton of Mexican food. How can my stomach be upset when I haven’t eaten anything for hours?

Work tomorrow is going to be a blast, I can tell you that right now. Bright and early at 8 in the fucking morning.. Until at least 3, probably well after since Sunday is their biggest business day (that’ll be just fucking great during Community Band season…)

I hate to unload all this, but I just need to say it.

You know, looking at it all, it’s my fault.. .and it all started when I fucked up in college. I mean fuck. I’d still be on dad’s health insurance, so the meds wouldn’t be a problem. I’d still have my Heartland Inn job, so I wouldn’t be the yard working, fruit slicing dishwasher of PM Park.

I always used to wonder why older folk always said “If I’d known then what I know now”.. I think I’m finally beginning to understand what they mean.

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One thought on “My melancholy blues…

  1. Probably too late until Monday now, but for real, call the doc back, talk to his nurse or secretary, and say “hey dude, prescribe something different or please give me samples if you have any. I cannot afford to pay this much.” There are gazillons of other medications that he could prescribe for you in place of what he just wrote for. Never be shy about asking for a different med. For whatever reason. Be nice of course, but as gramma used to say, “the squeaky wheel gets the oil.” Or something like that. Good luck 🙂

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