Yesterday lost your way, still looking for an answer. I’m the one who holds the key. When you don’t know where you belong, and nothing seems to matter, I’ll unlock this mystery…

-“Work It Out”, by Def Leppard

Well, ladies and germs, it appears that I kind of lied to you in my previous entry. While I am still in a tiny bit of a Bowie mood, Def Leppard have once again taken over; you’ll hear why if and only if you read my entry. 😀

Now that I’ve got you all sufficiantly hooked, I will continue. In case you care, the amazing, feathery fake eyelashes (and some extra adhesive) that I mentioned last entry, I bought those. I have a month to figure out if 1, my friends are having a Halloween party, and 2, how to get those blasted eyelashes on. I’m glad I bought the extra adhesive, though. I tried to put one on for the hell of it (they’re supposed to be self sticking), but I can’t imagine them staying on without extra adhesive. ANYWAY, enough of my nonsensical, boring eyelash rambling.

I worked on Tuesday, and I was under the impression that was the only day I’d get this week, but I found out differently once I got there. Turns out, I worked Thursday night (tonight), Friday night, and Saturday night. Saturday is at PM Park though.  ANYWAY. Work on Tuesday was okay, despite the fact that it was slower than molasses in freaking January. And, it was made easier ot accept because I knew that the next day I’d have Jenny’s birthday party to look forward to.

The whole day Wednesday was really strange. I had gotten Jenny a sketchbook for her birthday, and made her a necklace with wire and seed beads, but on Wednesday, I made a matching set of earrings too. I wrapped her presents (after drawing her a happy birthday picture on the first page in her sketchbook). I say the day was strange because it was one of those that seems to go really fast and really slow at the same time.

Anyway, I left a little earlier than I had planned, which was fine. I left way before 7pm. I could have left way earlier than I did even, but oh well. It was a little strange driving to Belmond in the daylight, because the last three times I’ve driven there have been after dark. Anyway. We chilled at Jenny’s house for a while. I gave her my presents, we sang to her over a flaming chocolate cake. ;D Not long after, we made our way to the bar. A few of her friends were there, and one of them.. goddam. I’ll have to see if you can see him on the video clip I took in the bar, but I’m not even kidding you guys, he was really really hot. I had to consciously make sure I wasn’t staring at him. xD Which got increasingly difficult after alcohol consumption, but I still managed. xD Speaking of alcohol, I actually can’t remember how many drinks I had. I discovered a new drink, though. Two shots of watermelon pucker (i.e. one regular sized shot; I love this bar but their shots are kind of small) and some sprite in a glass. One amazing jolly rancher tasting drink. I had a few of those, a tequila sunrise (which this bar doesn’t make well), some other fruity jolly rancher ish drink, and a glass of mountain dew+UV Blue. I remember the different kinds, just not how many! The only one I had more than one of was the watermelon pucker one.

It was interesting. Jenny’s brother was there, and let’s just say he likes talking about women and what he’d do /has done to them. Yeah. He’s just really weird. There was a lot of laughing, it was amazing. Except…
Tech was there. Tech, annoying kid from college Tech. Yeah. He showed up. He did provide a bit of amusement, though. When I was feeling pretty happy indeed, I had to start babbling about how amazing Rick Allen is, and when I said he was Def Leppard’s one armed drummer, Tech stared at me with his mouth hanging open like I’d just told him where babies come from or something.

But, he was trying to get Jenny or myself to buy him a shot or something. Okay. Buying for minors; not cool. Buying for minors on meds; not cool.

I once bought a bottle of vodka for a friend, but that was the only time, and frankly I would never do it again. It’s like. Dude. I’m not going to put my clean record on the line for TECH. I bought that vodka for one of my friends, but only because they wanted to try A screwdriver. Singular. Not like I was just going to buy it for them, and wave to them as they ran off to alcohol OD.


We also ordered a supreme pizza. I ate two pieces of it when we got it. I shared with Jenny and Jarrod of course, and I took two pieces home (which I had for breakfast this morning). I slept on a couch in their furnished basement. It was cold. The couch wasn’t as comfy as it looked. My blanket was small, I had to be in the fetal position for it to cover me up and not leave half my leg sticking out. Oh well.

I couldn’t sleep for ages, but I was drunk, so I was perfectly entertained babbling to myself about how my hugest musician crushes are British, and wondering exactly why the singular act of getting drunk brought my Def Leppard pyromania back. I’m glad it did, though. 😀 *points to new blog header* TEE HEE!


So anyway. I woke up at like, 7:30 in the morning or something, and I chose then to leave. I had to work tonight at 6, and I could have perhaps stayed longer, but I couldn’t sleep. I was getting way uncomfortable, it was cold, and since I didn’t really want to have to leave for work, I figured, the longer I stayed, the harder it would be to make myself leave. Next time I visit Jenny I have to get a few of my things back from her, things I misplaced like a year ago at the now infamous parties at her old place.

Anyway. I ate my leftover pizza for breakfast, and watched my Rock of Ages Def Leppard music video dvd. 😀 The rest of the day was spent talking to Vanessa on the phone, watching more Def Leppard music videos, and beginning a Def Leppard playlist on youtube (it’s got like 45 videos in it already, and I haven’t even been through all the Def Leppard search results, xD. I was honestly on the phone with Vanessa for like, probably close to five hours (not all at once; the largest block was like, 3 hours). We had a very meaningful discussion, but I’ve been asked not to repeat it anywhere.

Still. It made me think. I’m going to appreciate my friends, and just my life more. I need to stop taking things for granted. And, all this self pity bullshit needs to go. And, what will prove the hardest, I will stop thinking I’m a freak or a retard just because I have some mental issues.

Everyone has their problems. Someone in particular, in my opinion they need to get their ass in counseling [YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE] so I can quit worrying about them quite so much. I understand; money is tight. You don’t want to spend the money on it, but quite frankly, as one who has mental issues myself, I really suggest you go talk to a counselor at least once and get some of that shit sorted out. You shouldn’t have to suffer through it by yourself or tell yourself “you just need to change” because even that fails to work sometimes.

Like I said. Everyone’s got issues, and I know everything will right itself in the end eventually, but sometimes we need help along the way. I’d do more if I lived closer. I would just feel better if you talked to someone about a few of your issues. I can only help so much, over the phone.

If not solely for yourself do it for me and the other important people in your life. Honestly.

And, I am there for you all the time! No matter what time it is, if you need to talk to me, call me. Text me. Write me an email the size of a novel; I don’t care. Just… don’t be stupid! 😀


Work tonight sucked ass. It wasn’t overly busy, but the hands of time were barely moving. I’d look at the clock after what I thought had to be like half an hour, to see that it was only five minutes later than the last time I’d looked. Towards what I thought was the end of the night (after the kitchen stopped serving food), I’d gotten all the dishes through the sanitizer, I’d cleaned off my area, I was just about to turn the sanitizer off when someone dropped off a FULL bus tub. I was pissed. I was just about ready to turn the machine off, mop the floor, and then leave, which was why I was so angry. At least nobody was in the kitchen with me to hear me swear. Plus the radio was on pretty loud. xD

I have to work tomorrow night as you know. Not looking forward to that, but oh well. I need money badly. I have had to take at least 150 bucks out of my savings account to pay for student loans, gas, and necessities of that nature, so the importance of saving money has just gone way up (the exact opposite of what the value of the dollar is doing!). In the way of gifts, I only have Vanessa left to shop for. But I still have to put gas in my car, save enough for the trip to Ames, save up to move out, bleh.

Mentioning my car reminded me; about a month ago my car was put in the shop to get brake work done, and I got a new cd player.

Well, that is still working, but for about a week now my brakes have been making this horrible nails on a chalkboard screeching noise, and when I’d push down on the foot feed, I’d hear a sound like when you put pennies in those fund raiser funnel things, and they’re about to fall in, that building up spinny noise. Don’t know how to better describe it… I didn’t notice anything else wrong with my car, except the horrid noise. My dad is taking it back to the shop tomorrow, but he’s pissed [I am as well]. I mean, we just got my brakes worked on, and they’re fucking up already. I just need to remember to grab the boom box (that I take to work at PM Park), and my Def Leppard “Hysteria” cd out of the car cd player, or else working at PM Park on Saturday is going to be a real drag. xD

ANYWAY. It’s like, midnight here, so I’m going to bed. I am honestly so tired from my previous night of bad sleep that tonight I’m going to sleep like a freaking baby. On one hand, I hate being really really tired, but when I am really really tired and I finally go to bed, I’m dead to the world for 6 hours straight. Don’t wake up during the night, don’t remember any dreams, nothing.

I’m off to sleep now. You might see me after work tomorrow. 😀


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