Well kids, I’m back, for day two of my plan. It admittedly did not go quite as I’d hoped today, because the weather kinda went and fucked up my plan to walk to the library. Also, I regret to inform you that I didn’t get any exercising done today.
(Before we get any further, I am italicizing the food I ate today so you can easily pick it out from between all my mumbo jumbo).
The school my mom works at was 2 hours late this morning, and then they got out early. I thought mom would be home sooner than she was, so it turns out I would have had enough time to exercise between dad leaving for work, and mom getting home, but I’m not going to worry too much about it. Tomorrow, whether I like it or not, I’m going to force myself to walk to the library.
Last night, I broke and ate a mini candy bar, and a banana.
I mean, I could have done a lot worse on the first day of a new way of acting, but also… things will probably turn out to be a little more difficult than I first anticipated.
In my experience, things sound a lot easier when you’re still planning them. I know I’m only two days in, but beforehand, all this sounded easy to do.
I have no doubts that this time, I will be able to stick with it long enough to see some change, but it’s not going to be all sunshine and unicorns farting rainbows.
Take for instance, something as simple as portion sizes. I can’t speak for anybody else, but when you’ve just been pouring cereal into a “normal” bowl until it was full your entire life, suddenly paying attention to the serving sizes is a bit weird.
Just this morning, I went to grab the box of generic cocoa pebbles, and the serving size was 3/4 of a cup. I think of one of our 1 cup measuring cups, and not even that much cereal is a serving size. I’d probably easily eat twice that in what I thought was a decent sized bowl of cereal. And I’d think I was being good, only eating that much.
Also, the planning that I’ll have a cup of tea whenever I feel like snacking is a good plan, but it’s not going to be super easy to stick to, sometimes. I don’t know about anyone else, but there are times when I HAVE to eat a little something. Even something as simple as a couple crackers, I have this feeling like I HAVE to eat something, and when you get that… gulping down a tea is not the same as eating something. I plan to stick to that as much as I can, but it’s not as simple as saying “Every time I want to eat, I’ll drink tea.” and then magically having it be easy to do.
Anyway, I chose the generic honey nut cheerios, because their serving size was 1 cup. That equaled 110 calories. We were out of lactose free milk, so I used regular (I won’t explain to you why I don’t drink normal milk, but it’s not pleasant). As well as drinking an additional cup of milk, mixed with coffee. No sugar, again. So that probably equals a cup and a half of milk, which would be around 140 calories or so.
For lunch, I had a couple tablespoons of this cheesy taco dip stuff we made, along with a spoonful of refried beans, and what I guessed to be a serving size of taco chips… When all but one of your taco chips are in shards, it’s kind of hard to count out a 12 chip serving size. The chips were 150 calories, but obviously I don’t know the caloric content of a food we made…
Between then, I had one dum dum sucker (We still do not have cough drops).
For dinner, I had a salad, which was made up of some variety pack, mixed in with some raw spinach leaves. I could live without lettuce, actually, as I much prefer the raw spinach leaves. Which is funny because I do not like cooked spinach. On the salad, I put a fairly normal portion of beef roast… I’ve heard a serving of meat is supposed to be no bigger than your fist. The portion of meat I used probably didn’t even equal that. Also, I used a serving size of ranch dressing, a sprinkle of sliced almond, and some chopped green pepper. The chopped green pepper adding a nice crunch to the salad, and a good alternative to using croutons.
Notice I didn’t add cheese. Now… I’m the type of person who likes to put cheese on every soup, salad, sandwich, and frickin omelette I make. Any omelettes I make still get at least a little bit of cheese, but I’m going to try to have it less often on salads and sandwiches. And in soup. It’ll be a little hard, because I really like cheese, but it’s an easy way to shave a few calories off my food.
Also, today, I had another cup of generic cheerios for a snack, and I had a diet soda. Also, I had like, half a cup of this banana/pumpkin frozen stuff I made, with a spoonful of fat free whipped topping. Which was actually runny topping. It had to be used up.
The only other things I foresee myself eating tonight are a mini candy bar, maybe, and a candy cane. As we still do not have any cough drops.
I want to congratulate you if you got this far. My blogs can be a bit rambly and long winded so I appreciate anybody who read this far.
To close up the blog I’d like to discuss a few random musings.
Friends who are thin and who have previously had/still have some sort of eating issues… They tell you they love you no matter what size they are, but they can’t apply the logic to themselves. Like, they still feel fat and disgusting and like they aren’t beautiful if they don’t starve themselves or constantly obsess over being thin, but they tell me my weight doesn’t matter?
I appreciate the sentiment, but it looks a little hypocritical from the outside. My weight doesn’t matter? But then you go and post pictures of your very small stomach, and complain about how fat you look and how you need to lose ten pounds? I’m confused.
I know everyone has parts of their body that they don’t like. Even if they are skinny. Such as a friend of mine. I’d kill people to have a body like hers, but there are parts of her body she is self conscious about.
I realize this. But it’s a little weird and it makes me feel a little uncomfortable. Like, you tell me I’m not fat, but when you, who has an abdominal section the size of one of my thighs, complains about your big fat stomach, it makes me think you really think I’m horrendously fat and are too nice to tell me to my face. I know that’s probably not the case, but I still wonder.
Okay. We move onto the next little bit of my rambling, to make this entry even more likely to recieve a TL;DR comment.
Today, on the PBS website, I watched a couple of documentaries. One was about like… five different people from Vietnam, from the first generation in 100 years that has grown up not knowing war, and the other was about a blue jeans factory in China (program was called China Blue). The latter got to me a lot more. You can go to pbs.com and look for Global Voices.
It was just… insane. I hate when people export business to China because they know they can get away with paying their workers the equivalent of six cents an hour, for insane shifts at one time, refusing to pay workers overtime when you’ve got them working until 3am. Or only having 2 hours between the time they get off work until the time they have to be there the next morning.
I hate the factories in China who forge time cards and coach their employees on how to lie just to satisfy western inspectors. I hate the American companies that demand such low prices that many times, the factory workers get financially fucked up the ass. That the workers are expected to work at breakneck speeds, for 20 hours at a time, and not fall asleep on the job. That in the little less than an hour it took me to watch the documentary, the main girl and her friends didn’t even make a goddam dollar. They would have made like… 94 cents.
That’s fucking ridiculous. What’s worse is, there was a small portion in the documentary where the boss of the factory was in a FINE RESTAURANT. Having wine. FINE DINING.
That brings me to something else that pisses me off. The CEOs of these companies that probably wipe their asses with 50 dollar bills. If I’m ever in charge of a company, I will not hike my salary to astronomical levels. Yeah, I’ll want to make a comfortable, and maybe slightly high end living, but not at the expense of all the little people who toil and who actually make my job possible.I will take pay cuts to make sure workers get a fair fucking share of money.
Another thing that torks me off is how the prices of some things are jacked up so much. You know, with some things (like gas/oil), you could probably charge fifty percent less than what’s currently being charged, and you could still rack up a fuckton of money.
Watching things like that make me realize how lucky we are here. Even working people. I have friends of mine that have said they will not work for less than 10 bucks an hour because their time is worth more than that. Then you look at people in China, or Vietnam, who think they get a good deal when they make 3 bucks in an entire day’s work. You look at people who bike to work. Who live a hut with no running water. Who live a 2 hour bus ride away from where they work.
I could go on about this shit for hours, but this blog entry is already a lot longer than I originally intended, so I’m going to once again cut myself off.