“A jury consists of ‘twelve’ persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.”

-Robert Frost.

Yes sir. We’ve hit day 12. Two more days, and I’ve been doing this for two whole weeks.

While I haven’t been as exacting as I want, the main point was to take down the food I eat so I can be aware of it. And, to be honest, I have been snacking less, knowing I have to report what I ate at the end of the day.

Today didn’t go that well really. This morning at about 9, I started about making this amazing plan I had in my head: Chocolate cupcakes, with raspberry jam inside. Then, I’d put fondant decorations on top.

Well, I was having one of those days where nothing I try goes right. The cupcakes looked fine in the pan, but when I tried to get them out… The tops came off, leaving the rest in a mangled blob in the pan. I greased and floured the pan.

I was very upset with myself.  But… I came up with an idea to save them. I would mash up the cupcake crumbs from the bottoms, and mix them with some muffin batter, and then use buttercream icing to stick the cupcake tops to the muffins.

Well, first of all, I didn’t omit some flour in the muffin recipe, to allow for the cupcake crumbs I was going to add, so it was like trying to mix paste. I was freaking out the whole time. However, they baked just fine, and weren’t too hard. The second muffin batch I made, I omitted some flour, and they came out a little more moist  than the first batch, but they turned out all right.

Next, the fondant. Fondant is a bitch to make, and I am never, ever doing it again, unless we make some to make mint patties. It’s too much of a bitch. It sticks to everything, it never rolls out the way you want… Like, in my version of hell, there’s Taylor Swift on the stereo 24 hours a day, and I’m forced to make fondant when I’m not sleeping or going to the bathroom. I just know it.

Then, I forgot about some soup I was supposed to make… Today was basically a big blur of me messing things up in the kitchen and subsequently freaking out about it.

Actually. The soup I made (cheesy soup with carrots, potatoes, and a tiny bit of broccoli) was good, and the buttercream icing turned out pretty well… but it wasn’t as buttery as I’d have liked. Oh well.

I’m just glad this day is over.

Anyway. The food part. For breakfast, I had a bowl of cereal. For lunch, which I didn’t eat until after 1pm was a cheeseburger. No buns. No ketchup. Or anything. I just ate the patty and cheese, because I was too busy in the kitchen. I’m eating my dinner now, which is some of the soup. I’m also going to eat one of my cupcakes.

I probably ate at least a cupcake’s worth of crumbly cupcake bits, and frosting today.

I don’t think that’s too awful. Especially since I was on my feet moving around literally all day.

I have immense respect for people in professions where they have to be on their feet all day. What I discovered today is that I cannot physically handle that.

It is beyond my laziness. My back issue on the left side is keeping me from physically being able to handle it.

I have an issue with how that thigh bone fits into my hip socket; it was suggested like over a year ago that I get physical therapy and an xray but I can’t afford either of those things.

I mean, hey, I did it. Almost all the dishes are done. I did it because I had to, but my back hurts like hell right now, and I just don’t think some corporate run business that has to answer to a list of corporate guidelines from HQ would understand that I cannot physically handle being on my feet for eight hours at a time. And a lot of jobs require more than that.

I really wish I could say otherwise. I’d love to be one of those people who could just work for ten straight hours without batting an eyelash…And I suppose that’s all the more reason to get in better shape.

But what about until then? I haven’t taken a class on Microsoft Word, and back when I used to do these tests at a temp agency, you basically have to have taken a class for that to get any data entry work. I can type fast enough. It’s just that I kept failing the temp agency tests because I can’t do shit like write macros…

Also it’s been literally years since I’ve had to enter shit into a spreadsheet. And that also gets into the math danger zone, and I am so math deficient it hurts. I’ve always had trouble with numbers. For instance, sometimes I still have trouble reading a face clock, and I can’t do simple math in my head. Like, if you asked me what 37+ 48 was, I wouldn’t be able to do that in my head. Like, I start thinking “Okay, 30+40 is 70” but then I lose track of where I am when I try to add the other two numbers in my head.

I’ve always been that way. Complicated problems are the worst. They make perfect sense when the teacher is doing an example problem on the board, but as soon as she (or he) writes the answer down and tells us to do a problem on our own, they may as well not have showed us how to do the problem at all. I instantly forget what they just told me.

Which ties in with my short term memory problem. Such as today. There was no kitchen room, so I had to set the cookbook on the microwave, which is like four feet from the counter, where I was making a recipe. Literally from the time it took me to look at the cookbook, to get to the counter, I would forget what I just read. Even though I read it less than 30 seconds ago.

Seriously though, my entire back hurts. It hurts to stand upright. And all of this because I had to make cupcakes. If I hadn’t taken it upon myself to make cupcakes, the only thing I would have had to make today would have been that soup. Damn me. Lol.

Tomorrow, my parents are going to be gone all day, and all night. They’re leaving about 8 in the morning, mom said. I have to return a movie to the library tomorrow, which means walking in whatever really shitty temperature nature decides to throw at us.  The library opens at 10, so I’ll be there around then to return my movie, then I’ll pop over to the grocery store to buy some soda for my late night movie watching. I’d buy a six pack of smirnoff or something but I don’t have enough. Lol. That’s all right. I don’t need it.

Well, I can see I’ve gotten random and rambly so I should probably cut myself off. I’ll see you tomorrow. 🙂

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