“We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the ‘fifteen’ which we do possess”

-Mark Twain

Well ladies and germs, it’s day fifteen, and I lied to you about going to the library. My back and my right knee were killing me when I got up this morning. If it was just my knee, I’d have still gone, but my back is feeling reminiscent  (but not as severely) of twice before when it flared up, requiring a clinic visit and a prescription for an anti inflammitory, so I’m trying to avoid doing things I can possibly avoid.

Because we all know I can’t afford that, and I can’t ask my parents to pay for medicine of any kind, short of an immediately life threatening injury, in which case I will be glad to ask for their help.

Anyway, today, for my food journaly thing, I took pictures. Mainly because I got bored with just rambling on about what I ate. I figured this way, it’s harder to lie about what I ate. Of course… I could still take a picture of a decent portion and after that pile more food on my plate, but I’m not doing that. Just because you can’t see that I ate extra doesn’t mean it won’t still add more bubbling,  disgusting fat to my body, and we all know I don’t need any more.

I think I’ll just end up being fat until I have enough money to buy healthier food or join weight watchers. So… I’ll be fat for a while.

ANYWAY. The pictures.

This was my breakfast. A coffee mug of generic cocoa pebbles. I added the heart pendant for interest. These picture aren’t necessarily going to be cute or artistic, but I figured what the fuck.

I may actually revisit this, in which I set this up again and actually give a shit how the picture comes out. Anyhoo. I like eating everything from cereal, to casserole, to soup in these bowls because it’s easier for me to know how much I ate. Rather than just plopping a huge pile of food into a normal bowl. I prefer smaller plates too, because I eat less when I use a smaller plate.

This was my lunch. The very last of the chicken, with the last of the rice, and some carrot sticks I decided to cut up on a whim. I used that dull, good for jack shit knife you see behind the plate, because my favorite knife was dirty (my favorite knife being a knife about that size that I got from the bar I used to work at, on the owners’ last day, when they were giving away shit like cups, and silverware.). I’ll use it to cut carrot sticks tomorrow so you can all see what it looks like. 

For dessert, I had some pistachio pudding, with a cupcake top on it (from these cupcakes I tried to make. Seriously, only a top is there. It’s not like a cupcake with pudding around it. Anyhoo, a cute little pink ball of homemade fondant sat on top… to make it interesting enough to take a picture of.

Again, shitty picture. Once the sun goes down, there really isn’t a decent set up for picture taking anywhere in the house. I may try using the lamp that’s at the other computer for tomorrow’s dinner. Anyhoo. What you see there is some hamburger soup I made from scratch, with (store bought) croutons in it instead of crackers, and a heart that I cut out of a slice of generic cheese singles.

I got angry at myself, though. I diluted some store bought spaghetti sauce as the base for the soup, not knowing we had jars of home grown, canned tomatoes in a cupboard in the basement. As long as I’ve ever had to get canned stuff from the basement, it’s been in a different cupboard. So I got really pissed at myself. There is another store bought can of the spaghetti sauce, but we had been saving the two cans to make lasagna for my brother’s birthday (which is Feb 1st, but since it’s like a Thursday, he’ll be coming home from college that weekend). I mean, not a big deal. They’re not expensive, and we still have like three cans of homemade spaghetti sauce in the basement, but I got mad. I’m in one of those “I can’t do anything right” moods at the moment. Which is temporary, but I hate it anyway. The soup tasted fine so I’m not sure what I was all pissy about.

This was my dessert. Some cheerios. Being as that is a macro shot (a bad shot, but still macro), they look like a mountain of cheerios, but it was really only about a cup of cheerios. Which is a serving size, I believe. But I could be wrong.

Again. I must remind you that not all these pictures were taken with artistic intent. Although, like my breakfast, this is an idea I may actually revisit later for a more serious shoot. Lol. The only stuff I didn’t take pictures of today were a couple small blobs of goopy fondant I ate, and one of those minty nougat christmas candies. I may eat an orange later (or sooner, I’m in an orangey mood), but that’s it. I had some V8 fruit punch, too.  But that shit’s healthy for you, so I don’t feel bad about it.

In other news, I have two friends that have started on the weight watchers program, and both have lost weight after only a week.

This sounds like a fantastic plan, joining WW, only… I’m flat out broke. I have two dollars and eighty five cents right now. That’s it. They’re willing to pass me on some info, such as most fruit and veggies don’t count for any points, but I wish I could join it with them. I have a feeling that, like other areas in my life up to this point, I’m going to be left behind as my friends progress.

Seriously. I have friends younger than me that are already married, and either pregnant or they’ve already had their kids. I have friends my age that have graduated college and already gotten the job they went to college for.

Yeah, I know, better late than never, but it’s just hard, watching all my friends make so much progress, and I’m stuck back here, with people thinking I’m 17.

I appreciate not looking my age.  And really? I wouldn’t be ready for marriage, or for children, so I’m glad I don’t have any of that shit to worry about, but it’s just odd.

Anyhoo, I think that’s about all I’ve got for right now, so I’ll see you later.


One thought on ““We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the ‘fifteen’ which we do possess”

  1. Hi.

    I need your help.

    Could you explain me this: We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the ‘fifteen’ which we do possess

    What does these words meaning of?

    I can´t understand them.

    Thank you.

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