Day 171.

Because I am a creature of balance, today’s entry is going to be far less eloquent than yesterday’s.

It may be that I only read a chapter of a new mystery book I checked out, or it could just be because I am in that evening funk I seem to get in sometimes. I’m also sweating like crazy for some reason, even though it’s cooled off. It is a bit stuffy in here, but the only other time I sweat all day *including my two bike rides* was when I did a bit of weeding in my garden.

Eh. I’ve been all around more cheerful and less depressed for a while now, but it’s things like that that make the lows seem even worse. When I was getting them regularly it wasn’t so bad but now when a melancholy mood hits it seems to throw more weight around.

Speaking of which, I weighed myself and I swear I was back to like 248. I know. It’s only a three pound difference from when I weighed myself a couple days ago but it’s kind of driving me nuts.

I’m trying to avoid giving myself a complex about weight. I know you fluctuate a few pounds of water weight and the like, and I know you shouldn’t be obsessed with weighing yourself.

The thing is, I know some of my clothes fit better. Some far too small shirts I bought on sale long ago in the vain hope that I’d be able to fit into them some day… well some of those shirts fit better than they have before. Some of them I can almost fit into well enough to wear them out.

I can feel that I’m getting stronger and that my back can handle a lot more before it starts to ache. I’m making better choices about what I eat and how much (although there’s room for improvement, as always). I know things are changing so I shouldn’t be obsessed with the scale.

It’s hard though. It’s hammered into our heads day and night that we have to be thin and perfect to be happy. I know for a fact that’s not true, but it’s been so ingrained in our culture that the thinking can be hard to reject.

Anyway, I don’t feel like rambling so I’m going to get on with it.


+a bowl of lucky charms.

+A half cup of cottage cheese, and some cucumber.

+A sandwich with some mushroom spread, some thin sliced turkey, and some cucumbers. I also had a few extra cucumber slices and some cottage cheese.

Also today, I had a brownie, and a bar.

I believe that’s all. Now, I have an art blog to throw together and then I’ll be in bed. I’m rather bored and exhausted all of a sudden.


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