A great Thomas Dolby song. More mellow than I feel at the moment.
I’m actually quite pissed off. And maybe it’s something that should be innocuous, but I can’t ignore it.
In a lot of ways I’m lucky, mainly because my parents allow me to live here (I’d be homeless otherwise), but in some ways I feel like they take advantage of the fact that I’d have nowhere else to go.
I could spend hours complaining about the other stuff but for the sake of length I’d like to focus on one particular thing that irks me so.
On regular occasion, my mother likes to not ask me outright to do something. She likes to pull that “It would be NICE if such and such chore were done”.
I tell her she should ask me directly if she wants me to do something. Well, hell. I may as well be talking to a donkey’s ass because the answer I get is probably just as helpful.
“Well you should just KNOW” or “I shouldn’t have to ASK you”.
This pisses me off in a great many ways.
In the past, I was even more of a lazy slob than I am now, which is frightening once I think about it.
Make no mistake about it. I have a great deal of progress left to come, but I’ve also made lots of progress, and sometimes I feel that has been overlooked.
I’m not always perfect at doing what’s asked of me either, so I realize I have a great many flaws that others could complain about, but for christ’s sake mother, I am 25 years old. I would probably be more willing and happy to do something for you if you ask me.
Now, when you make snide, passive aggressive, bitchy remarks like “It would be NICE if such and such chore were done”, I am more likely to get mad than to happily help out around the house, even if it’s a chore I don’t normally mind doing.
I’ll hijack a phrase I hear my mother overuse; “It’s the principle of the thing”.
Yes, it is. I am still working very hard to get past my lazy ass, apathetic attitude of yesteryear. Thing is, even when I’ve got valid reasons for something, they’re more likely to be met with cries of ‘You’re using that as an excuse to be a lazy slob!’ than ‘I totally understand that’. But that’s a whole nother can of worms.
It’s the principle of the thing. If you simply ask me nicely, and without a bitchy undertone, I’m probably going to be more willing to help without getting right back in your face and reciprocating your bitchiness.
Do NOT tell me “Well you should just know” or “I shouldn’t HAVE to TELL you”. I’ve said this time and time and time again. My mother is bothered by lots more shit around the house than I am. If I don’t care, I don’t notice. That’s why you have to ASK ME.
And on that topic, why just me? I know my brother is at college a lot of the time, but even when he’s home, he doesn’t even so much as get asked to do one load of laundry. Yet I am still expected to to the dishes, the laundry/scrubbing the floor/cleaning the bathroom/etc when asked. But again, that’s another can of worms.
I’d like to bitch about one more thing before I end this. No matter how I do a chore, it seems I’m bitched at for it.
I get bitched at for not doing the dishes.
Then, I’ll get bitched at for doing them past a certain time of night (apparently there’s an unwritten rule that the dishes should be done by 9pm and any time after that is “too late” to be making dish noise).
Then I’ll get bitched at for forgetting to wipe out the sink/clean out the drain/wipe off the counter/put the dishes away/etc.
That’s it? I do the dishes almost ALL the time, and all you can think to mention is one minuscule thing I didn’t do?
And yet they fail to understand the reasoning behind “Why bother doing anything if I’m going to get bitched at either way?” logic.
And before you go spouting off gibberish about how I’m ungrateful and how so many others are so much worse off than me, save your breath. I know already. By complaining about something, I am not trying to insinuate that I have it the worst ever and that everyone should feel sorry for me, because I don’t and they shouldn’t. But just because someone somewhere has it worse, doesn’t mean that I can’t have problems in my own life.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have dishes to do.