No song lyric for this one. This is just a bit of random shit, nothing I’m too worried about, but that I think I’ll feel better if I type out.
So, at the end of this month I’ll be doing something a teeny bit crazy.
A couple months ago I became friends with a girl on tumblr. We text constantly and have even talked on the phone a few times.
Towards the end of the month I’ll be getting a flight out to the state she lives in. I’ll be there for 3 full days, not counting the day I arrive there, and the day I depart from there headed back home.
We’re going to see a Howard Jones concert together.
This idea has been met with worry and doubt on my parents’ part.
The thing is, I am fully aware that this will be a total stretch on my non existent finances, and really fiscally irresponsible of me, but I don’t care.
I realize I’ve never met this girl in person before, and I realize I’ve never flown out of state by myself before
The thing is…
- I’d have never started planning this whole thing with the girl if I had any doubts about her honesty. She’s not a serial killer, she doesn’t even have a criminal record (yes, I looked).
- I realize how expensive it is, but like I said with both my previous concerts… I have the entire rest of my life to pay off debt.
- On that note, this trip would never have gotten past the planning stage if I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to afford it. I’m not fucking stupid.
- I realize I’ve never flown out of state by myself before, but I’m fucking 26 years old. I can’t live the whole rest of my life being afraid to do things or outright avoiding things completely just because I’ve ‘never done them before’.
I don’t share my parents’ overly paranoid take on the internet. Yeah, there are creeps out there, but you know what you don’t hear about? The thousands of online friends who meet in person and actually don’t end up being eaten with fava beans and a nice chianti.
I mean, I understand why they’re apprehensive about the entire thing, but believe it or not I did take all this into consideration before I told my friend to buy the concert tickets.
Now, I don’t get paid until tomorrow, but getting a flight from here to Minneapolis would be 100 bucks one way, and then it would be about 260 bucks for a round trip ticket to her state (I’m not mentioning what state I’m flying to just… because).
Tomorrow when I get paid I will more than likely be buying the round trip tickets from Minneapolis to her state, and if I have enough, at least one way leaving from my town to Minneapolis. Since I get paid on the 28th, if I don’t buy the return ticket from Minneapolis to my town tomorrow, I’ll just buy it on the 28th
Idk. I’m just stressing more now than I thought I would be. Originally I was going to leave out of a different city (in my state) and that my dad would just drive me to the airport, but he’s really not up for that idea.
Like. It will be fine, and shit will work out. I know it’s awkward and everything, but like I said before… I’m not going to live my whole life never doing anything stupid and crazy because I’m “afraid” to and “haven’t done it before”. Then I’ll never do anything that I’ve never done before, because I’ve never done it before.
This won’t become a regular occurrence. It can’t, because I only work part time at minimum wage.
And I know technically if I was a responsible adult, I wouldn’t even be doing this. However… I have never felt so comfortable with a friend so fast as I do this one. We joke all the time about being the same person. We like a SHITLOAD of the same things, and agree on damn near everything. We text each other random bullshit at all hours. We tell each other not quite everything, but close enough.
I don’t know. After this, I know I’ll have to be much more responsible, in a lot of ways, but honestly, I will only have so long to do shit like this.
Even though 26 is still young in the grand scheme of things, I will not be young forever. I’ve already spent my life up until this point largely not doing anything crazy like flying almost 1,500 miles away to see a friend and go to a concert. I’ve never been able to before. Now that I can do some of this stuff…. I am.
I am completely 100% honest though. Like I told my friend, this will be my last blowout for a while. I need to start making more of a dent as far as paying bills and other responsible adult stuff is concerned. And I know that. I know that I’ll have to quit spending money on unnecessary things and keep it down to the absolute bare essentials.
I know that. But I need this one last crazy time to pretend like I’m not poor and that I actually can do anything I plan for and set my mind to. I said this the first time I saw Howard Jones in concert, and I still mean it now. It’s the same with Thomas Dolby. They will not live forever, and they will not be performing or touring forever. I’m going to see them while they’re still at it, not lament about the fact that I didn’t get the chance to see them (like I do with all my other favorite musicians).
I didn’t mean to hit upwards of 1000 words with this little entry, I just wanted to get some of this stuff off my chest. I know I sometimes have a tendency to over-worry about even the tiniest thing.
I think the hardest thing about growing up and getting older is having the proverbial balls to have faith in yourself and trust your own judgement. It’s hard when you’re constantly second guessing yourself, but I know everything is going to turn out, and I’m going to have what could possibly be the biggest adventure of my life up until this point, and I’ll have the memories and pictures and the whole experience to enjoy for years to come.
I was right. I do feel a lot better after writing all this down.
Until next time.