Just a bit of venting.

I don’t have anything really special planned for july 4th. I have one beer left from the other night, and I bought two tall cans of mikes hard lemonade, and I plan on enjoying these and sitting on the front steps lighting some sparklers, but I’m not starting any of this until it starts getting dark out. So I wanted to vent a little first.

Roommate #1 was going to get married last week, but they called it off. But I just learned today that she and he actually went to the courthouse and are now officially married.

I just think it’s a bit strange that a week after you call off the big wedding shindig, now you’re married? She was just here a few days ago saying she wouldn’t take him back.

I love her, and I don’t know her man that well so I am in no position to judge them. I just wish I knew what her plans are.

Because last I knew, she, me, and roommate #2 were going to look for a bigger house, since we would all be moving in together.

I don’t know what her plans are. I would think she wouldn’t be moving in here, since she is actually married now, but idk.

If she’s not going to be moving back in here, I would hope that she could get some more of her stuff out (including the huge armchair in what is now roommate #2’s room) so roommate #2 and I have more room.

Also, idk how to bring this up with her, but if she’s not going to be moving back in, I can’t take care of her cats anymore. As it stands, there are four cats in this house. Only one of them is mine. They’re still here because roommate #1’s man is allergic to cats. At first, I was glad to take care of the cats as long as roommate #1 continued to pay for food and litter, but it’s just too much work. I love her cats, but 4 cats in a tiny 2 bedroom house is just too much. I have to scoop out the litter box almost every single day, and there is literally cat hair all over everything. I can’t even dry off my hands after I wash them, because there will be cat hair all over the towel.

I haven’t felt like I could bring this up with roommate #1, especially since I don’t know what her plans are, and because she has helped me out with rent when I didn’t have enough.

It’s just very confusing, because all the bills, the utility, internet, etc, they’re all in her name. And she’s the one who takes the rent to the landlord every month.

I love her to death, but I have a feeling that a large part of my anxiety of late has been because of all this confusing bullshit.

I know roommate #1 has been under a lot of stress lately too, but I feel like I’ve been teetering on the edge of a nervous breakdown because she doesn’t really keep roommate #2 and I in the loop about these things. And idk, maybe there’s some stuff roommate #1 herself doesn’t know, but I just can’t live like this forever.

So it’s like, are you not moving in again after all? Do we need to switch the bills to be in either my or roommate #2’s name? Will her mom that lives a street away be willing to take two of her cats? There’s just a lot of unknowns and shit.

Especially with the cats. I wouldn’t have the heart to take them to the humane society, but I just can’t keep being the sole caretaker of 3 cats that aren’t mine.

I was mega stressing about it earlier, but my episode of anxiety is waning, which is nice. Because I was not about to drink three hugeass cans of beer in an emotional state like that.

Anyway, I figured if I vented about it here, instead of to the four cats in the house, I would feel better. And it kind of worked. So I’m going to go off and waste a couple hours until it’s dark, and I can start having fun. As much fun as it is to drink by yourself and light sparklers on your front stairs, but whatever.

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