annoyed

I’m having one of those shitty manic episodes again.

Not the fun ones, where I’m hyper and happy and get a ton of art drawn or anything fun, the ones where you’re super irritated at everything, but at hyperspeed.

I’m annoyed because today is my day off and work tried to call me in, but I declined because I have shit to get done today. I’ve already taken a total of 3 shifts for them when people have called in, and I haven’t even been working here a month. I’m going to take a lot of these opportunities, but I can’t take every single one, or they’re going to start thinking that they can call me in every time I have a day off.

I might have taken it but I already had plans to run errands and get shit done in the house, and yesterday was so fucking boring, I didn’t want to go through more of that.

Because as I’ve said before, time just drags on and on and on at this job, even when it’s busy. I’m happy about the 200 dollar check I just earned, but it’s been not even quite a month and I’m already at the point where I can’t even enjoy days off because I spend the entire day dreading having to work the next day.

I’m also annoyed because like I said, today was payday, and I got like 218 bucks or whatever on my paycard. And while I can use my paycard at atms and in stores like a debit card, it doesn’t have a little 3 digit security code on the back, so I can’t use it online anywhere. I was planning on finally buying that greyhound bus ticket today and I even went to the library specifically for that, and I couldn’t do it.

So I either have to go to a local bank and set up a checking account and get a debit card (and god knows how long it’ll take before I actually get the card) or I have to go to an atm, get all the cash off the card, then go buy a fucking prepaid visa or whatever, and then buy the ticket with that.

But I was just too annoyed with everything this morning, so I’ll either go back out after roommate #1 comes over to hang out/talk, or I’ll just do it tomorrow after work.

Oh, and also, the fucking kitchen drain is clogged again, so for every single sinkful of dishes, I have to fish out 4 huge soup pans’ worth of water

I just hate fucking moods like this because everything is 800 times more annoying than it usually is and I can’t concentrate on anything, and I can’t even enjoy my fucking downtime because I spend the entire time on the verge of tears, with a huge fucking knot in my stomach.

I am honestly going to be surprised if I even make it to my birthday this year, let alone my 30th birthday. I just can’t fucking be this stressed all the goddamn time, stuck in a job I can’t stand. I mean christ, I thought some of that unemployment stress would go away once I got a job, but it’s just been replaced by a shitload of work stress

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