I’ll be strong for all it takes, I’ll cover your head till the bad stuff breaks, I’ll dance my little dance till it makes you smile, Shaking like this honey doing that, never let you down.

-“Never Let Me Down”, by David Bowie.

Yes, kiddos, my huge crush on David Bowie is back, and that song has been gracing my headphones a lot lately, hence it’s appearance here. I highly recommend listening to the song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=in7f_n-xpzM

[I have posted some pics from the Renaissance Festival in this entry, they’re at the end so as not to mess with stretching the text everywhere]

Anyway. If this is any surprise to anyone, not a whole lot has happened between my last entry and now. I spoke of the next kareoke Friday in my previous entry and said I probably wasn’t going, but I lied. I went anyway. Work was a bore, and I thought to myself, I should go out and do something. I usually sit at home and do nothing, but especially on weekends, it gets annoying.

Jenny wasn’t there, which was fine because a couple of my other friends were. Although I’d already qualified for the finals, I was still a little put off that what I sang didn’t get as much thunderous applause as last week when I qualified. I’m guessing it was because I didn’t sing country.

I sang ‘Yesterday’ by the Beatles which, okay, I wasn’t that great at because the song is really low for my range.
I also did “Listen to the Music” by the Doobie Brothers, which I figured might fit people’s tastes a little more.. The Doobie Brothers are kind of southern, right? Nobody gave a shit about that one. Which I really don’t care. I sing because I enjoy it. I just enjoy it more when someone other than myself really enjoys it.  I think the only person I entertained was the lady running the kareoke. Which is fine by me. At least one person besides me enjoyed it. The last song I did was “Hit me with your best shot” by Pat Benetar which is one I’m really good at, and again, because it wasn’t country and drowning in steel guitar and bad vowel shapes, nobody really noticed. Oh well. Like I said. I don’t care as long as someone’s having fun. I had a couple drinks at the beginning of the night but, like last time, I didn’t have any more because I had to drive home.

That was about the last exciting thing to happen to me, really. I went to the library a few times. I had like a three dollar fine that I brought two dollars to pay part of (I didn’t know how big my fine was beforehand). Yesterday they sent me a letter telling me I had a fine, but I was like, WTF, I just paid two of those three dollars, and this library will let you have a fine of five dollars before they stop you from checking anything out. I think it was yesterday that I walked to the library again to turn in ‘Across the Universe’, and I talked to Vanessa on the walk back, and at home a bit. Man, I wish I lived closer to Ames, or even IN Ames, or could afford to make more than one trip there between now and New Years.

As it is, though, I have to put more gas in my car, not only to make another trip to Belmond for Jenny’s birthday, but to have enough for a round trip TO Ames, and for a bit of driving IN Ames. Not to mention the money I’ll spend while there. Not just on frivolous things like alcohol, but since I’ll be staying with them for at least three days I will want to pay for frozen pizzas and doritos at least once. Plus, I am going to stock the fuck up on food from the asian food store.
And, I need gas in my car for getting to work. Also, I forgot that I have to pull my student loan payment out of my ass this month, meaning that, if I can’t take that out of my next paycheck, I’ll have to withdraw some money from the bank. Boo.  So as it is I’ll have enough of a time saving up enough to go there once. Halloween, I don’t usually worry about, but I already have some really cool stuff for a costume. The only thing I’d have to buy is these wicked false eyelashes from Walgreens.

But yeah. I need to look for another job. I would today but as it is I have to work tonight, and I’m low on gas anyway. I can’t really afford to be driving all over Mason City looking for a job, I have to save what’s left of my gas right now to get to Ventura and back for work, considering I get paid in two weeks and I’m barely sure the gas I have now will last that long. And that’s not even counting if I’d have to go anywhere else.

On that note, I think I’m going to fill in some online applications. That way, I’ll still feel like I’m doing something.

OKAY! I haven’t posted any pictures from the Renaissance Festival yet because.. I don’t know. I was too lazy to post them. Here are some, now. If you’re wondering, the font I used for my little watermark is called Retro Rock Poster and can be found here: http://www.dafont.com/retro-rock-poster.font

ON WITH THE PICS! They  have been resized because they are huge.

The Torysteller. Hilarious guy.

These two you should probably see in full size so I’ll post the links: http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj281/OpenTheDoor_Blue/My%20photos/DSCF5216.jpg

You have to see this one in full size, too. He was the announcer guy for the joust, and I kid you not, he looks like Sir Didymus from ‘Labyrinth’. http://i275.photobucket.com/albums/jj281/OpenTheDoor_Blue/My%20photos/DSCF5223.jpg

I feel sorry for these elephants, they have to give people rides like the fat man who is on in this picture. xP


Oh shit expression on his face because he's juggling a stick of fire and a machette, probably. xD

When I said muddy, I meant it. The whole walking area was like that.

Ev’ry morning it’s a bummer gettin’ out of bed, Same old story does a nothin’ ever ever change? Yeah, they lock me up and then they let me out again…

…Get up! – Break out!
Don’t be the odd one out
C’mon, it’s alright we’re hot tonight

You better run – Run riot
You gotta run – Run riot
You know the time has come
Run – Run riot
I mean ev’ryone
Run – Yeah, run riot”
-“Run Riot’, by Def Leppard

That song has been really addictive lately. Hence why it gets to begin this blog.

Anyway. You haven’t heard from me since the Renaissance Festival so that is where I’ll begin.

We left really, really early. I can’t remember exactly when I got up, but it was really goddam early. Not having slept that well anyway, I was really grumpy. Ended up getting in a small argument with my mother. I can’t even remember what about, but she was shouting at me “We should just leave you home!” and when dad asked what was going on, she went “Oh, Melody’s not going” or something. I think it was just because we were ALL tired, and getting up uber early, and the fact that my parents don’t sleep all that well to begin with, it was just… bleh. We had soon gotten over it, though.

Honestly. When I say we left early, I mean it. We were actually on the road at like, 7 am. xP

The weather was decent for about an hour, but it got all cloudy and such after that. Which, we’d looked up the weather for the Renaissance Festival and it was supposed to rain.

Anyway. Once we got to the city that the festival is in, it took us forever to actually find where it was. Google maps gave us bad directions, but luckily mom printed off two different ways to get there.

It was kind of cold and rainy. It rained almost the entire time we were there, turning the entire grounds, the whole walking area, into a giant mud pit. And I was wearing the jeans that are really long on me, and I’d worn flip flops. Not thinking it was supposed to downpour the whole time. And, I didn’t bother bringing a jacket because I usually get too hot and take them off anyway.

So, despite the fact that the mud was slung five inches up my pant leg and that my feet were completely covered in mud, up to my ankles, I had fun. We saw a juggler that we’d seen last year, and I didn’t think it was possible but he got cuter. ❤

My favorite performer was the Torysteller. Yes. I said that right. He mixes up consanents and tells stories  (like Cinderella which becomes Rindercella, and Romeo and Juliet) that way. I.E. When he mentions a fancy palace it becomes pancy falace (which of course sounds like phallus, which the crowd would LOL at every time he said it).

For lunch I had this cheesy soup in a bread bowl. I wasn’t even finished with the soup part when it started to, once again, downpour. Meaning I had to huddle right next to the trunk of a tree so that the rain wouldn’t get into my soup. It was lovely.

I had fun, I really did. Even though my feet were covered in mud, my hair and shirt were kind of wet, and I had to slip and slide everywhere. Luckily I didn’t fall down though, or else I’d have had a big gross mud spot right on my bum.

I bought a necklace where the pendant is a symbol for the age of aquarius (not the song, though it is awesome… Dur. Read the wikipedia article: I find starting at ‘The Astrological Meaning’… helps because the beginning of the article doesn’t even sound like English. xD http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_aquarius )

Anyway. I was quite drawn to it, even before I knew what it was supposed to mean. Weird. I know. The only other thing I bought there was a full fingered ring (finger armor, as I’ve been calling it). This picture of it isn’t very good, but it still shows kind of what it looks like): http://i268.photobucket.com/albums/jj29/BlueSilverQueen_album/DSCF5298.jpg

I posted the link because I’m guessing the picture is way too huge to post on here comfortably. But yeah. I only spent like 30 bucks, and I brought 60… It let me know that I’m making progress in some areas in life. Because honestly, if I’d gone to this same festival two years ago with that much money, I’d have spent it all in like the first like, two hours of the day.

The drive home was interesting. Since my shoes and feet, and pantlegs were all muddy, and we took the parents’ nicer car, I had to ride the whole way home from Shakopee, MN with my feet in a plastic garbage bag. And I was wet and cold.

When we got home, my  mother was nice enough to bring some pj pants and a shirt down from my room. It was interesting walking to the bathroom, because I had to do it with my feet in two plastic grocery bags, and to prevent them from falling down, I had to hold onto the handles. So I was like hobbling to the bathroom kneeling over all weirdly… I felt like a cripple, but it was hilarious so I didn’t care.

Afterwards, we ordered pizza from Breadeaux, and it took us almost an hour to get our pizza when they’d said it would be there in like half an hour. I wouldn’t have cared but my mother was getting really agitated.

Anyway. The days after that weren’t too exciting. I pretty much stayed home, doing a few chores, that sort of thing. I did run some errands and went to the library, where I checked out the animated movies “Spirited Away” and “Howl’s Moving Castle” for the second time in about two weeks. I’m in a Hayao Miyazaki mood right now, what can I say? xD Today I actually watched Spirited Away for the third time in that two weeks. I watched a bit of Howl’s Moving Castle again, but that movie is more fun to watch when there are others home.

Sometimes when I’m the only one around, I don’t want to watch certain movies. Sometimes I’m that way with Labyrinth, which is so much more fun to watch when Vanessa is around… I would watch it tomorrow, but I put Across the Universe on hold, it came in, and I need to pick it up tomorrow. 

My crush on Jim Sturgess has  resurfaced just a tiny bit. My brother was tearing apart old magazines looking for stuff to put on his wall, and he tore out that page and gave it to me. It’s now hanging off my bulletin board. 🙂 Speaking of crushes, my uber huge crush on Rick Allen is back. It waned a little but since I’ve been listening to the ‘Hysteria’ album in my car lately, the crush has returned. I can’t not have a huge crush on that man when listening to that amazing album. My steering wheel really gets a beating though (steering wheel drumming xD ),  although not as bad as when I’m listening to The Who in the car. And, when I’m on the highway, interstate, or some other road where I can put cruise control on, I drum with my feet just to be weird and because they aren’t otherwise occupied.

ANYWAY. Getting back to today. As you know, my boss at PM Park apparently runs another restaurant in Ventura, and today was my ‘training’ there, aka my first day. I’d worked with the other dishwasher and two of the servers at PM park, but it was still really weird. I felt very uncomfortable. First off, I couldn’t remember if I was told to come at 5:30 or 6, so I left in the middle and ended up having to drive around for 15 minutes until the other dishwasher was there. Then, there was a radio back there but it was not on for the better portion of the shift. And my spirits are always at least 75% better when there is music on.

Honestly. I really hated how many times I had to ask where shit went. I tried not to put myself down about it too much, because honestly, when I first started at PM Park I was the same way. Not knowing where anything went, feeling awkward, etc. It will pass but I still didn’t like it.

For the last like, hour, though, the radio was on, and it was on my classic rock station automatically when they turned it on. Which made my mood slightly better.

But I was still really embarassed by not knowing where anything was. Fuck’s sake. I couldn’t even remember which door I’d entered through. Bleh. I know the atmosphere will get better once I know where shit is at and once I feel as comfortable with the crew at that restaurant as I do with the people at PM Park. I have to work tomorrow night and Friday night, but it will be at PM Park, so I’m not worried. For like, only the second time all summer, I won’t be working on Saturday. It’s weird enough having started the work ‘week’ on Wednesday. Tomorrow is going to feel like Saturday, only my mother and father still have to work and my brother still has school. xP

I told Jenny I might possibly go to Belmond for kareoke on Friday night again, but I don’t think I will. First off, Jenny’s birthday is on October 1st and I told her I’m coming to her party thing. Secondly, I kind of already qualified for the finals in December. Not that it’s not fun singing random kareoke songs (because I get a HUGE charge from singing kareoke), but… I don’t want to waste the gas there and back. Especially now since I wasted like 15 minutes driving around today.

Plus. I’d be tired from work. I’d have to drive back home at like 1 in the morning. For Jenny’s party, I’m going to stay overnight. Honestly. We’re meeting at the bar, I believe, and I’m going to actually get drunk this time. Last Friday, I had a screwdriver right when I got there, but that was it. I had to drive home so I couldn’t have more. And, October 1st is a Wednesday, I was told my hours at the new restaurant would be on Tuesday and Thursday (and some Saturdays, I believe) what I’m assuming will be night. I can ask my boss when I report to PM Park for work tomorrow night. I can tell her I will not be available Wednesday October 1st, the whole day, and during the day on Thursday the second (I could still work the night on Thursday though).

Anyway. Enough about that.

I talked to Vanessa on the phone today (it’s weird though; thinking back to that, it almost seems like it happened on a different day, although I know it was today) and I cannot wait to go visit her around New years (when I’m assuming it’s going to happen). It makes me really wish I was moved out of the house already, although since I’ll be guaranteed work after PM Park officially shuts down for the season, I will still be earning money, so I can keep steadily saving up. Although, I probably won’t even start looking for any apartments until I’ve got at least 3000 bucks saved up, and I’ve got roughly 2500 left to go before I’ve saved that much.

I will probably still do some job hunting because let’s face it, three days a week will not cut it. It might cut it while I’m still living here and just saving up, but once I’ve got my own place, and I have to grocery shop for myself, pay the rent, the utilities, gas in my car (which I currently do pay for on my own)…my point is, it might seem like that is enough while I’m still living in my parents’ house, but once I’m actually on my own, working three days a week will not be able to support me. I’ll use up the money much quicker than I do here, considering I don’t pay for food, rent, heating, electricity, or water here. Speaking of things I’d need to spend money on, I need a new phone. This one is really old, the buttons are beginning to crap out on me and the antenna has been wobbly for ages now, it can barely stay up halfway by itself.

ANYwho. I’m thinking I should go to bed considering it’s 11:20 at night. You will probably not get any updates here until Friday night at the earliest, unless something VERY interesting happens around here. Which I’m guessing it won’t. During the school year, the day time is rather quiet in this town. Not that it wasn’t before. It’s just MORE quiet, and considering not a whole lot goes on here anyway…

Yeah. See you later. ;D

Eight days a week is not enough to show I care…

-The Beatles.

{I have a strange reason for using that song’s lyrics, you’ll find it out if you read on}


Not a whole lot has happened since my last entry, four days ago.
Our drier was fixed, so luckily I won’t have to be subjected to the horrible country music playing in the laundromat. 😉
I went back to school to hang out with people on Thursday, and I had a blast for the most part, but a few things I used to wonder when I was actually in school came to mind again. Like, if there is a person a few of my friends don’t like, they’ll act all nice to them and then say what they really think once the person leaves. I often wonder if they do the same thing with me. Act all normal with me when I’m there, but the second I leave, I’m afraid that they talk about me like that, like I’m the friend they don’t want around and wish wasn’t there, etc.

Even though that is stupid. My friends are pretty open with who they like. Jarrod and Chris [in particular] are very vocal about who they like and don’t like. Yet, I still find myself wondering these things.

Friday was not very fun. I had an argument with my parents in the morning, before it was even like 7am.  I can’t even exactly remember what it was about. The day before, mother had asked me to clean the bathroom, do the dishes, etc. She asked me in a hoity toity tone exactly what did I use to clean the sink bcause it wasn’t very clean. Then dad had to comment on something. When there are a crapload of dishes to do, I will do them a little at a time so it’s not so overwhelming. I’ll run super ultra hot water and stick the dishes in there, then go away for like half an hour, then do up the dishes. That morning, dad informed me I’d be doing the dishes all at once. Being already aggrevated by mother’s comments, and the fact that my moods were on a dysfunctional roller coaster due to it being that time of the month, I asked if he was saying that just to be an ass. He told me he was saying that because I was a lazy bitch. Or something like that.

I just cried. I’d worked really hard on the dishes and cleaning the bathroom, and all I was getting was complaining that I didn’t do it the way my mother or father would have done it. I was like, if they didn’t like how I did it, they could do it their own goddam selves.

Just because I do it a different way doesn’t mean it’s “not the right way”. Another testament to the fact that I really goddam need to get out of this house.

So anyway. There is a series of kareoke contests in bars around Belmond, etc. You can win a 50 dollar gift card, or cash (depending on what bar you go to), and you get into the finals in December, for a chance to win up to 1000 bucks in cash and prizes. I decided to go that night. I didn’t know if anyone I’d know would be there, but I wanted to go anyway. I needed the sort of charge I get from singing in front of people.

But, Jenny and her sister were there. Which was great because I’d been dying to see them, but bad because it meant I’d have some damn good competition.

Not everything was judged though. For a while they were just running regular kareoke, and I sang my kareoke song, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, by Elton John. I looked at the screen once. That is how well I know the song. It’s so fucking great. Look it up on youtube. Elton John=win.

Anyway. For the actual judged contest part, I sang my standard “I will always love you” by Whitney Houston, and it was one of only like two times that I remember everyone in the bar bursting into thunderous applause.

The final tallies ended up being very close. There was a one point difference between the three highest scores. I won by one point. I’m assuming Jenny and her sister were the other two, because quite frankly we were almost the only people that sang who could actually carry a tune, and do it well. There were others that were okay, but Jenny, Amanda, and I were the best there. And I usually don’t have an ego, so that’s saying something. ^^; Hopefully next week,  Amanda or Jenny wins. I was going to go back next week to hang out with Jenny and such, but I can’t. I have to work.

Anyway. Moving on.

So, this morning, I did a bit of shopping around town with my mother. I made her go to the second hand store, where I got these two cute little glass things that my mother says are supposed to be vases but I think they make cute little swanky glasses. They probably hold a couple shots so the way I see it they’re just elegant shot glasses. 😛 And and and.. Omg. In the vinyl department, I got yet another K-Tel compellation album, and “Close to You” by the Carpenters, with my all time favorite Carpenters song, “We’ve Only Just Begun” on it. In the 45’s department, I got a beat up copy of “It’s too late” by Carole King to make into a clock (At a gift shop at some museum, someone had made clocks out of old 45s, that’s where the idea came from), and and and…

The EIGHT DAYS A WEEK single. I could have cried. It’s in perfect condition. More about that later though.

Anyway. I worked today, washing dishes for a wedding. Last Saturday was kind of bad, even though I was only there for about four hours. Today, I was barely there for three.

It’s kinda bad, though. See, our clocks at home and the clocks at work are off. I can leave when our clocks at home say five minutes before the hour, and end up getting to work on time or early. Today, apparently my mother freaked out and called home because I wasn’t there right when the work clocks said six pm. Thing is, it probably wasn’t even ten till on our clocks, and I literally only have a like, two mile drive to work. Sometimes I barely hear one full song on the radio, that’s how quick it is.

Anyway. Work was not a breeze but by no means was it terrible. It was actually quite easy, it was just the fact that we had a lot of strange dishes. Not just cups and plates, etc. I brought in my brother’s old boombox because the clock radio I used to have at work no longer functions.

And. I had previously thought the boombox’s cd player didn’t work, but I tried it out tonight and lo and behold, it did. So, my co-workers got to listen to random songs from Def Leppard’s “Songs from the Sparkle Lounge” album. They probably heard ‘Go’ about three times. xD

I was also given some good news. As you know, my boss at PM Park owns another restaurant. She said, a dishwasher there is quitting so, I’m going to get Tuesdays and Thursdays, and possibly Saturdays there. This means I’ll have a regular job, guaranteed. Granted, it’s only three days a week and that is not enough to survive on, but at least it will be some regular guaranteed income. I’ll still look for more work, but the situation won’t be as dire as it was, say, when I was looking for a job before, what with going to temp agencies, finding no luck, parents constantly yelling at me and threatening to kick me out for not having a job, etc.

A song comes to mind. Good News, by Dobie Gray.

“Aint that good news, man, ain’t that news.”. 🙂
On that note, I have to go to the other restaurant on Wednesday for training. Then I work Thursday and Friday (But not Saturday) at PM Park. On that note. I could still go hang out at the bar with Jenny and her sister, I’d just get there late. Whatever.

Anyway. Back to work tonight. Considering I had to park in the boonies, I got really freaked out having to walk to my car in the dark. Then, when I got to my car, I was suddenly paranoid that someone or something was around it or in it, which was of course stupid and unfounded.

Anyway, I took a bath when I got home, as we’re going to a Renaissance festival in Minnesota tomorrow morning, really early (or else I’d have waited until then).

So anyway, after that, the Eight Days a Week single I spoke of earlier just begged to be put on the record player downstairs, to see if it was as immaculate as it looked. And it was. That version was a bit slower than I’m used to, but I swear, it wasn’t even warped or anything, it played perfectly. After that, I figured as long as the record player was on, I’d play a few more 45s. I played “My Kinda Lover” by Billy Squier, and it played just fine. I put on “Desert Moon” by Dennis De Young and it was seriously so badly warped, it was scaring me (I have strange music related fears, one of these being distorted, warpy, wrong speed sounding record music). It didn’t look like it was warped, only like it had a few minor scratches. But then it had that stupid skip where it repeats, and I was like, “Fuck that, I’m turning this single into a clock”. Or maybe I’ll try to turn it into a candy dish or a little wall plaque or something but I am NOT ever ever ever playing it again. So after that, I put on “When you close your eyes” by Night Ranger. I’d played that single before and it sounded just fine, but this time, it was sounding almost scarily warped as well. It wasn’t as bad as the previous one, but it just sounded a little off. I decided to stop the song before it was done. I lifted the needle and went to put it away, and it seriously felt like someone ripped the needle thing out of my hand and snapped it back to the middle of the record. Of course it wasn’t still spinning or anything, but that freaked me out a lot more than it should have.

I was rambling as if in the mania stage of manic depression. I was talking a mile a minute, going “I knew I shouldn’t have played records today, I thought I was over the fear of stopping records before they’re done, but now I’m practically straight back to where I was, I hate that, it freaks me out and I really really hate it, etc etc”.
Which I realize is retarded, looking back at it now. Still. Why would it freak me out so much at first?

I don’t know but I think my paranoia is getting worse and worse. My brother seems to think it’s all normal, but then it just reiterates my paranoia because when he said that, I thought to myself, “But what if it is paranoia, what if my mental health is going down the shitter, what if there’s something wrong with me and people are just writing it off as normal or as a behavioral issue”. But, I can’t really afford to do anything about it, because we still owe the mental health center 500 dollars from way back when I used to go there.

Which is funny. The mental health center is supposed to help people with mental illnesses but I actually feel more insane when I’m forced to go there. It’s like, I get trapped in this mentally unhealthy energy cloud because of all the people with mental issues that have been there before. So it’s not really an accurate representation of any problems I might have because it feels about ten times worse when I’m there.

Anyway. Tomorrow, as I said before, we are going to the Renaissance Festival in Minnesota, in a city I can’t spell but whose name has something to do with ‘shock’ and ‘pea’. I am pumped for that. Even though it’s supposed to be rainy, it’s going to be a whole lot of epic awesome (even though I am not going in costume, boo)… Lots of pictures will be taken. Speaking of that. I need to finish this entry up to clear my camera up, so my entire 512MB memory card will be available for picture taking Renaissance themed fun.

Toodles. You will probably not hear from me until tomorrow night, depending on when we get home.

Teach me how to reach you, I can’t find my own way. Let me see the light, let me be the light… As the sun turns slowly around the sky, till the shadow of night is high, the eagle will learn to fly…

-“The Eagle Will Rise Again” by the Alan Parsons Project.
[I highly recommend listening to the song on youtube here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4OiFEXfpuk ]


Since I didn’t write anything in the past few days, the beginning of the entry will be about that.

September 7th marked 30 years that The Who’s drummer Keith Moon has been playing with the rock band in the sky. In his honor, I had a drink. I wasn’t sure if I’d like brandy so I played it safe and bought a bottle of amaretto instead. Yesterday was strange. It was a grey, cloudy, and cold fall day, but despite that, I was feeling quite artistically inspired. Did a bit of drawing, etc, whilst sipping on a drink [amaretto+diet coke] and listening to records [Honky Chateau by Elton John, and Boston’s classic album].

Then, I went to the laundromat (as our drier is currently busted) to throw a load of towels in the drier. I thought it was going to take forever and that I’d be really bored. I brought a book I have of like seven of Edgar Allan Poe’s short stories, but I ended up taking more pictures of me ‘reading’ the book than I did actually reading it. Between that and a few random pictures out the window, that was all the time it took, really.

I ran a few more errands than that, but it was just one of those rainy, stay inside and plan/begin creating art type of days.

Let’s move on.

Today was interesting. It began with me being awoken at four in the morning having to go to the bathroom. Lo and behold, Mother Nature chose then to present me with my monthly gift, so I have to warn you, if I get a little moody, depressed, irate, etc during this blog entry, that would be a possible cause.

A few days ago, one of my friends, Jarrod, messaged me on Myspace, saying I should come visit him at school sometime, as he has a four hour break in classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I decided that I would visit today, as I didn’t have any other commitments.

That was great fun, and a real blast from the past. I hadn’t seen most of these people since February or March at the very latest. I thought about calling some of them over that time, but because it had been so very long, it would have felt really strange for some reason. I was afraid they had changed, or something like that, but I found that, while some things had changed, part of it felt like I’d never been away at all. 
I was there for a few hours, and we were up to our usual antics. Listening to comedy albums way too loudly on the laptops present, looking up random music and comedians on youtube, goofing about loudly, it was a lot of fun and I needed it.

I left around 12:30pm. I gave one of my friends a ride home, as she lives along the route that I take home, and when I got home, I got these awful gut wrenching cramps. I actually almost cried, they were that bad. It was horrible. For a while there, the pain was worse than the time last summer when I hurt my back.

Vanessa called me, and I talked to her for about an hour, but I had to tell her to call me back later, my cramps got so bad. Besides. Even watching videos on my Def Leppard dvd and talking to Vanessa can only distract from pain that bad for so long.

I’ve been feeling contemplative lately, and a bit lonely, to tell the truth, although today helped a tiny bit in the lonliness department. I’ve stated time and again that I realize I don’t need a boyfriend to validate my existance, but I am lonely in that area nonetheless. It’s not that I believe having an interest would suddenly cure all my problems, but.. It’s hard to explain. It’s as if I feel like I should be starting to cultivate some type of romantic garden, but with no starter plants/seeds, water, or light, it’s pretty much just a dry boring patch of dirt. But oh well. I’d like it to happen, but at the same time I’m not going to become a depressed little whiner about it. It’s nothing I feel like I have to rush.

Speaking of that, seeing some of my friends today kind of reinstated a somewhat dormant crush, although now it’s different because I already know it’s never going to happen, so I won’t have to end up acting like an idiot about it.

I’m off to edit some pictures, so I will end today’s entry. If you want to talk to me, you’re more than welcome to email me at crystalsisterandpegasus@yahoo.com, or to comment on this blog.