There are places I remember…

Yeah, I know. It is a bit cliche to reference a Beatles song that has no doubt been referenced a million times before, but it seemed an appropriate title for my annual “end of the year” blog entry.

I didn’t write too many blog entries here, so I can’t really use those to go back through my year, but I did take the liberty of going back to January on my facebook. Although… that’s probably not the best way to go about things either, since I don’t use my facebook much anymore. Got too tired of hearing everyone else talk about how they got married or had kids or whatever.

In February my brother turned 21 and I still really haven’t taken him out for proper drinks. I’m not much of a drink in pubs/clubs/bars/etc sort of person anymore. It’s cheaper to drink at home. Which is going to sound wrong. Lol. I just mean that, if I don’t know anyone at a bar (other than the people I went there with) it’s just awkward.

This year has just been… weird. I’m trying to go back through the year in chronological order but it’s really been the year of anxiety. I mean, I’ve always had it to some degree, but a lot of this year was just spent stressing about my job and wondering what I’m going to do with my life. I mean, I did enjoy myself a bit during the summer, but not to the degree I have in past years.

In September, I spent money I couldn’t afford to spend on a ticket to a Thomas Dolby show. I purchased the VIP package which was 60 dollars, in addition to the general admission ticket, which was 25 I believe. And then there’s the round trip greyhound bus ticket. I really shouldn’t have and actually after the fact I felt bad because that was two weeks of work down the tubes in only seconds.

In October I turned 27. The older I get the more stressed I get about aging.  It sounds stupid because 27 is still pretty young in the grand scheme of things but I feel ancient. Probably because I listen to such old music. There’s a reason my mother tells me I’m secretly a 60 year old woman.

I don’t know. I’ve just spent most of this year wondering how in the hell I got to be 27…I had kind of hoped that this close to 30 I would have some sort of idea what I wanted to do with my life. I thought I’d have so much more figured out by now.

The other thing I did in October was discover I really love the band Oingo Boingo. Like, while watching The Corpse Bride while getting ready for Halloween, I remembered vaguely that the guy who did the music used to have a weird band in the 80s, and it just kind of went from there. Honestly, they’re now one of my favorite bands of all time, so it’s a bit weird to think that just a couple months ago I had no idea who Danny Elfman was.

In November I had an adventure of sorts. I finally met my favorite musician, and learned a few things on the way. I wrote a long entry about it (the one in November, if you care to read it over) and nearly two months after the fact, I still can’t quite believe it happened. It was at the same theatre I saw him at last year, in April, but I still managed to have a hard time finding the place… and I even have a smartphone now.

Honestly, that was probably the best thing that happened to me all year long. It was money I really couldn’t afford to spend, but Thomas Dolby is one of those people I just had to meet in my lifetime, and honestly, if I hadn’t taken this chance, I don’t know that I’d have gotten another one. Even though I think it was a bit stupid that general admission wasn’t included in the VIP package and had to be bought separately. Whatever, it’s in the past now, no sense in being annoyed.

Just a couple weeks ago, my mom accepted a librarian position in her hometown a couple hours away, so for the first time in my life I’m looking at having to seriously look for another job, and after that, an apartment. My stress level has been through the roof lately. I just had an interview at a call center today but if selected I wouldn’t begin work until February some time, and my parents want to be out of this house for good in March. After the holiday season, I’m going to have to hold on to as much money as possible. I don’t know what I’m going to do if that call center doesn’t hire me. Scramble around looking for jobs, but we all know how good I am at that. So if I can’t find something, what do I do? I don’t have friends in the area anymore, so I don’t really have anyone to stay with. I either live in my car somewhere, or I’ll have to move with my parents, and then I wouldn’t have any job.

The year has been full of anxiety like that.

This spring my brother has an internship in Washington DC, working on a senator’s campaign or whatever… I’m not sure exactly what he’s doing. He’s a senior in college. Who knows where he’ll find a job.

I know most other people got past this point in their lives long before now, but 2014 is going to be such a different year, it might be the first year that the family isn’t all together for birthdays and holidays. Because there’s no way in hell my car can travel two hours away to spend it at my folks’ house. My car can barely make the 15 minute drive to work and back.

This is why when I try to look back on the year, other than meeting one of my musical heroes, I really can’t think of anything else worthwhile. Basically, I was a little anxiety ridden shit that didn’t accomplish anything except playing more Skyrim than I thought it possible for a human being to play.

And there’s the anxiety. I was in a good mood when I started this. Ugh. I guess I don’t know anything else to do than to hope 2014 is a better year than 2013. Cheers.

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