No one lives forever.

Nothing serious, I just had that oingo boingo song on the brain. I had kind of thought my boingo overdose was over for a little while, but it started up again out of nowhere.

Anyhoo, it has been a while since I wrote here so I thought I should update.


For one thing, I found out the kmart I work at is closing for good in April. I’m kind of sad that I won’t have a job anymore but  it’s probably a blessing in disguise because to put it plainly, I am terribly unhappy with that job. Moreso now that the store is in liquidation and customers are being even shittier than usual, combined with the fact that we’re now super busy almost all the time (like black friday busy). To compensate with increased business they’ve hired a few new people and I know I was a shitty new worker once but this is not the time… it’s like, let’s throw them on the register with almost none of the training one is supposed to have. It’s not their fault they don’t know these things, and I really hope they don’t think my bad moods are because they’re new… it’s because they’re new at such a bad time. And who knows how long they’d stick around. Several new hires have already quit coming to work. Between that and people calling in… yeah not fun.

I haven’t written here much because we cancelled our internet at the “old” place, and all I have is the 3g on my phone… plus it’s hard to type on a phone. Too many typos. Even more than with a laptop which is saying something. I’ve been writing in a notebook, not for anyone to see but because I think it helps a little with my anxiety.

Oh, I almost forgot. My car doesn’t stall anymore. One morning it decided to stall when I was only half pulled over, which resulted in a whole lot of drama, me screaming crying on the phone with dad who was two hours away. A nice lady called a cop who took me home. I had to call in that day, it was also the first time I called the insurance agent, since my parents usually handle all that.

The repair cost 300 dollars, which dad paid for, on the grounds that it was the last time they’d pay for any car repairs, so from here on out, I’m on my own.  Funnily enough the car fucked up on payday so I would have had almost enough to pay for the entire repair, but I’m glad it didn’t come to that.

Speaking of which, my fine way back from 2009, I got a letter in the mail. With all this moving and job drama I forgot I still owe 2000 bucks because I drove drunk one time and got pulled over. I’ll have to call them and see if a payment plan can’t be worked out because I have never in my life had 2000 dollars all at one time. I still have my student loan payment to worry about, and soon I’ll have rent and all that other adult bullshit most people are used to dealing with already.

Speaking of…. my roommate just got engaged. I’m really happy for her and all but I really hope that doesn’t change anything about me living here… like it literally just happened yesterday so it’s not like they’re gonna get married tomorrow, and he doesn’t like cats and my roommate is a cat owner but… it’s stupid, it’s just my anxiety running away with me again. I hate when it does that.

I’m spending my first night at the new place, even though my bed hasn’t been moved here yet. I may spend tomorrow (err, today technically) here too. Even though the only other clothes I brought were my work outfit. Actually, I did bring a box of clothes I don’t wear very often but it’s mostly shirts and pj pants. Whatever. We have a washer and drier here if it’s an issue.

Okay wow look at me rambling on and on. The reason I wanted to write a blog was because, once again, I watched the oingo boingo halloween 1987 concert again, and had a bit of a weird epiphany while listening to no one lives forever. I’m so afraid to die and not be remembered, it’s really stupid. I don’t know, I just had one of those moments where I was like “You know what, he’s right, no one lives forever. We should enjoy this shit while we can and not worry about dying because everyone fucking dies”. From the richest motherfucker ever to the most poor person on earth, the only things we all have in common are that we’re born and we die. Now, it’s easy for me to think these sorts of things when I’m all comfy and I don’t work for a little while but I hope the discovery sticks this time. It’s easy for my anxiety to overshadow moments like this.

I guess it’s just a testament to how important this band’s music has been to me already, and I’ve only been a fan for what, five months? I wish I’d discovered them sooner, but with a lot of my favorite bands, I feel like I discover them at the right time. Just a few years ago, I wouldn’t have been as receptive to them as I am now, and I certainly wouldn’t have been receptive to them when they were still a thing. This is the only problem I have with liking old bands. I discover them when they’re retired, when half the members are dead, or after they’ve all lost their voices and start getting diabetes and shit. The hardest thing about liking old music is, and I know this sounds depressing, but I’m going to have to watch all of them die. It’s not like I have to watch the moment when they actually die, but I’m kind of sad knowing that all my favorite musicians (except for like, Lady Gaga or something) will die in my lifetime.

But like for music, I feel like now is the best time to be a fan… because we have literally everything to choose from. All the great music made in years before, in addition to what’s being released now, it’s all here to be listened to and cherished.

I just wish records were still a thing you could buy at any store. I have to either go to antique shops, second hand shops, or like the internet for that shit.

Well fuck, it’s almost 1am and I work at 9:30. Still. I only need about 7 hours of sleep a night so I could technically stay up a bit longer but eh. I’ve been on the internet since like 8pm without a break so I should probably give it a rest anyway