Day 81…

I’ve been tired and groggy all day. So tired that I’m too lazy to look up a quote for today’s title. LOL.

So… I basically already talked about my day in my art blog so I really don’t feel like doing it again.

 

Breakfast:
+piece of leftover pizza.

Before lunch, I had marshmallow peeps and empty whole wheat taco shell. Today my eating has been rather erratic.

Lunch:
+ Taco chips and guacamole, mixed with lowfat sour cream

Dinner:
+A thin piece of pork, and green beans.

Had a couple cocoa shortbread squares.

Also just had a cadbury creme egg.

I’m tired and bored. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. 😛

Take that look off your face… {Day 80}

Lyric stolen from the song of the same name by Marti Webb…off one of our Andrew Lloyd Webber cds. XD

Well kids, it’s day 83, and I really don’t feel like bitching about my day again, since I did that on my art blog, so let’s just get down to business.

 

Breakfast:
+Plain bagel with low fat cream cheese stuff

Lunch:
+The leftover chicken strips, and two egg whites, scrambled, tossed with some baby spinach leaves and a dusting of shredded mild cheddar cheese

Dinner:

Two pieces of pepperoni pizza (frozen, from walmart lol).

Also had a couple cocoa shortbread squares, and a bowl of cereal. I think that’s it. I can’t remember.

Sorry guys, I’m really tired right now. I just want to get today’s entry done so I can go chug another can of soda. This is what happens when I get up at 7am, I’m about ready to pass out at 9pm. This cannot happen. XP

 

The Earth can be any shape you want it, any shape at all. Dark and cold or bright and warm, long or thin or small…{Day 79}

-Thomas Dolby, “The Flat Earth”.

Day 79.

I am only little less than 2 weeks away from having kept this up for three months.

It’s a really weird experience, blogging every day for that long. I would never have that much normal shit to talk about… If I weren’t food blogging (with the exception of my art blog) there’s no way I’d be able to force  myself to update every day.

Today was okay. At like, 9 am or so, I walked uptown. For my application to the AmeriCorps program, I need to be fingerprinted, and I didn’t know how much that would cost. I could have called the station and asked, but I needed an excuse to get myself outside, so I walked.

It’s 20 bucks. I asked mom about it and she didn’t really say anything. I know she’ll more than likely be willing to give me the money, but I just felt really shitty about having to ask. I mean, yeah, if I get into the program, it’s a 10 month program, I’ll be doing some good stuff, and I’d only get paid a living wage, but there’s no reason I couldn’t put some of that money away.

Still. Even after the 20 bucks to get fingerprinted, there’s still no guarantee that I’d be accepted into the program. I’m trying to be really positive about that, but generally being a pessimist, it’s hard. At this point all I can do is hope for the best.

So, after I popped in the police station to ask about the fingerprint pricing, I went to the grocery store. I seriously debated buying more soda, but I’m trying to cut back, so I avoided that. It helped that they were asking 1.50-1.80 for a 2 liter. That is outrageous.  No thank you.

I opted to buy a package of Neufchâtel cheese and some plain bagels.

That’s one tally under “Step in the right direction”. ;D

Dad got home before I got back from my walk, which didn’t really matter. Except that I’d have to wait until he went to work to vacuum the stairs. XD

After I got home, while dad was snoozing in his recliner, I made some barbecue sauce. Here is the recipe if you’re interested: http://bbq.about.com/od/barbecuesaucerecipes/r/bl91211c.htm

It turned out much better this time than it did the first time I made it. The first time it was good, but for one, I didn’t dice the garlic, I just kinda sliced it in thin slices. Also, this time, I let it simmer longer, so it would thicken up more. It was a bit thin the first time. This time though, it’s nice and thick. I really like it. I did fudge the recipe a bit and used only a teaspoon of chili powder, as we’re running low.

If you’re wondering why I made barbecue sauce at 10:30 in the morning, it’s because I was planning a great supper and wanted barbecue sauce for it. XD

So, after that, I just kinda chilled out. Did dishes. Got on the computer. That sort of thing. Dad left for work about 2:45. I got started on supper little after 30.

I made these french fries: http://zestycook.com/healthy-homemade-french-fries

I can’t remember how many times I’ve made them that way. But it’s pretty awesome. This time, they did get a bit over done, but mom likes really crunchy fries, so no harm done.

I also made homemade chicken strips. First time making them, so I was pretty nervous, but they turned out pretty well. I don’t have a whole lot of experience preparing meat or poultry, other than chopping some veg and throwing the whole thing in the oven for hours. It’s an area I’d like more experience in. This summer I want dad to teach me to grill. XD

Considering my talent with anything dipped in flour and fried, it went really well, actually. Better than the fried eggplant slices, certainly. XD

There are no leftovers of the fries, because I only made 2 potatoes’ worth, but there are a few chicken strips left. I’m having trouble not going in the kitchen and sneaking one or two, actually. But I’m trying not to snack/graze as much, since a friend pointed out to me that my meal eating habits weren’t that bad, but it was the snacking that really got me.

It’s easy not to think much of something when  you just eat a tiny bit here and there, but eventually it adds up.

Well, I gather you’ve had enough of my inane chatter, so onward with the food.

 

Breakfast:
+A half cup of mashed potatoes. Yes, I’m weird.

Lunch:
+A plain bagel with some Neufchâtel cheese spread on top (it’s like a lower fat cream cheese). There was a box of the stuff on sale for 99 cents. I love when stuff goes on sale because it’s close dated. I also had some taco chips.

Dinner:
+Homemade chicken strips, and homemade slightly overdone french fries. With homemade barbecue sauce. I also had the last shortbread square, and a small chunk of white chocolate almond bark. Also had a package of fruit snacks. Aside from tea or limeade, and maybe a breathsavers mint or two, I’m not having anything else tonight.

I’m off to do facebooky things, maybe chat on MSN, and then eventually to bed. You all have a good night.

Now what would you do if there was no tomorrow? And where would you go if you knew this was your last day on Earth?

-“Last Day on Earth”, Duran Duran

Well, it’s day 78, and today, I did something I haven’t done for a long time. I logged on facebook for less than five minutes, only typing a status that read

“Just so you all know, I’m making an effort to stay off the computer until some time this evening. I have the house to myself for the whole day today and I’m not going to waste it on facebook.”

I just got on about ten minutes ago. I’ll probably be on for several hours this evening, but… it felt really good actually.

My dad was gone all day visiting his father in southern Iowa. He’ll be back some time tomorrow. So I had the house to myself all day.

First, I poured myself a bowl of cereal, and looked around for a movie to watch. I decided on Chicken Run, and not just because one of the voice actors happens to be Craig Ferguson’s sister. XD

I chilled out just watching tv after that. Usually my dad is home all day, so it’s not very often I get the chance to watch tv. I could watch on the little tv in the kitchen, but being in the kitchen tempts me to snack so I try not to just chill out in there.

I ate lunch, then decided I felt guilty about not getting any exercise, so I hopped on the exercise bike, but I only managed about 12 minutes before I had to stop. I was really tired and decided I’d ride a little more later. I don’t know. My allergies have been a real bitch today.

Chilled out some more. Dabbled around in the kitchen, that kind of thing.

I managed another 10 minutes on the exercise bike, but I was just really exhausted for some reason. The feeling passed, but it was really weird. I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t sleep that well lastnight. I don’t remember waking up but who knows.

Anyway, then I was bored of watching tv, but didn’t want to get on the computer yet. So I went outside and picked up some big sticks and such from our front yard. Then, I tackled some of the general clutter in our backyard. Stuff like chicken wire, siding (our landlord sided part of one side of our house last year)… Dad smokes and keeps all his cigarette butts in coffee cans, so I emptied one of those out.

It was just a nice day and for once I didn’t spend it on facebook, and I feel good about that. It might have had something to do with the fact that I had the house to myself until about 6pm, but I think I’ll keep doing that kind of thing. I really like getting online and such but after so long of having 24/7 internet access, it gets old.

It sounds silly. I spent 6 months without internet. The other computer had it, but I was forbidden from getting on that one, so for a while I had to bike to the library to use the internet.  If you’d have told me back then having the internet back would eventually get boring, I’d have laughed at you.

It’s one of those things that when you don’t have it, you want it all the time, and when you do have it…. eventually it gets old. I just feel like I’m bored with the internet in some respects.

Facebook apps for instance. There are still a few fun ones I play, but in addition to getting bored with them, some of them are too time consuming. Like, Oh, I have to go back or my crops will rot/pets will run away/I’ll lose my daily login bonus/etc… You have to take a step back and realize that… It doesn’t matter.

I mean, I was never obsessed with my apps or anything, but you get caught in this “Oh,  it’ll only take 1o minutes, it’s easier if I just do it” but… no. Once a game starts feeling like a chore, it’s time to stop.

Case in point? I just logged into fishville and I’m going to block the app. There are a lot of apps I got caught up in and just had to step back and say… You know? This is boring. I don’t like doing this anymore. I’m going to stop.

With my personality being slightly addictive as it tends to be, it’s just a good idea to remove a lot of the apps that were boring me but that I, for some reason, continued to play.

Now I think I’m going to stick to more mellow games.

I like ones like Farmville and Wild West Town that, yeah, you  have crops that have a certain time to grow, but you get twice the growth time to come back before they wither. I usually prefer the long growing crops so I can play one day and then maybe forget about it for a few days before I have to log back in. I like games like Puzzled Hearts, Pot Farm, and Monopoly Millionaires that are more mellow and I can play or not and it really doesn’t matter.

Anyway, I’m sure you’re tired of hearing me ramble about facebook apps, so let’s get on with this.

Breakfast:
+Generic honey bunches of oats.
Lunch:+
Weird sandwich that involved all the fixins for tacos: A little bit of taco meat, guacamole, refried beans, and a little sprinkling of cheese. The only non taco thing besides the bread was some raw spinach (I like and rather prefer raw spinach leaves over lettuce for a salad). I also had a few taco chips and salsa.
I made brown sugar shortbread squares today (recipe out of one of mom’s Cooking Light magazines), and I ate a couple of those. Also had a bowl of plain cheerios
Dinner:
+Leftover fish, some weird mashed potato stuff (like what would go in the middle of twice baked potatoes. I tried making them today and it just didn’t work lol) and steamed broccoli.I had a couple more shortbread squares, which I do not feel at all bad about since they are tiny squares, and actually pretty good for you. I also had an apple.
The apple was really filling so I don’t think I’ll be eating anything else. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an art blog to update.

 

 

 

How to begin? Do I shed a skin now that I am starting to remember? {Day 77}

-Duran Duran.

Well kids, the sun is setting on day 77, and you should probably get used to seeing Duran Duran lyrics used as journal titles, because I’ve become quite smitten with DD again.

I also can’t stop thinking about that concert on like, April 22nd. I’m just… feeling down about it. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to get tickets, even if my parents do agree to help me out

But I just don’t see why they would agree to something like that. I’m a fat ugly 24 year old living at home, who struggles to do anything productive with her life. Sometimes I barely have energy to do the few measly chores that mom asks me to do every day.

Also? My parents pay my student loan payments because I don’t have any money. They already bitch that I cost them too much and eat too much of their food. The people from the Iowa department of revenue keep calling our house about the huge 1800 dollar fine I have that I can’t afford to make payments on… I mean.

I cost my parents enough money and annoyance, so I don’t know that they’d be willing to buy me tickets. Plus, I’d have to cost them even MORE money and annoyance because they’d have to drive me to and from the concert.

I’m going to try to stay positive overall and hope that somehow, some way, I’ll get to go to the concert, but… I don’t know. I’ll just keep hoping.

Maybe if I don’t get to see them this time, there will be a next time.

Anyway.

Today… Today was weird. I woke up at like, 8 or so, and before I even went to the bathroom, I had done up all the dishes. Not sure why. I just didn’t want my parents to be able to bitch that I hadn’t done them. Mom made breakfast, which was just fried eggs and hashbrowns, but it was good. I did up the dishes after we were done eating.

We basically sat around until mom started making lunch. I asked if I could help but she didn’t need me. I did up the dishes after lunch too, instead of leaving them set. Hey. It’s the proper thing, plus it could get me brownie points with my parents so it’ll be easier to ask for help with DD tickets. Lol.

I then took a nice long bath while listening to my Pop Trash cd (seriously, it’s one of Duran Duran’s best albums I think), and after that… I was bored. I wanted to go somewhere. So I went for a little walk. It felt like I was gone for ages, but I wasn’t even gone for two hours. I took pictures, trespassing on people’s lawns to do so.

I finally made it to Econo Foods where I debated on buying more soda, but decided on buying two avocados. I love making guacamole. I just made some like, yesterday, but I wanted to make more. It never stays in our house very long. Mainly because it’s not only good on chips, but I like using it as a spread when I make sandwiches. I’m really weird.

I got back home and made the guacamole, loaded pictures off my camera, sat around, and ate dinner.

Before I ramble any more I should probably get to the food.

 

Breakfast:
+Two eggs, over easy, and a few hashbrowns.

Lunch:
+A soft shelled taco with a whole wheat taco shell. Filled with ground beef, refried beans, lettuce, and garnished with some salsa and lowfat sour cream. I also had a few taco chips on the side. I wanted a whole second taco, but instead I just ate a few taco chips dipped in a little bit of salsa.

Dinner:
+Taco chips, and refried beans, taco meat, and some guacamole that I made today. I also had a pear, a few grapes (some of them tasted kind of off, so it put me off eating any more), and a small hunk of chocolate almond bark. I figured it was a better alternative than eating a miniature snickers bar. I won’t be eating anything else tonight, save for a few mints.

I’m off to decide on a picture to use for today’s art blog entry, so I’ll see you later.

Nobody knows what’s gonna happen tomorrow.

-Duran Duran

Yep. Day 76.

Sorry for putting this entry off. To be honest, I had a little bit of a brainfart and for some reason though I had already updated today until a friend of mine mentioned it in an msn instant message. Then I was like, OH, crap, I didn’t update that today after all. XD

Today I’ve decided something though. Starting on Monday, I’m going to really step up my game here. It was during an ill fated session of trying on clothes at kohls that I just decided that I’m tired of being a disgusting fatass. I’m sick of it. I’m sick of not fitting into the clothes I like. I’m tired of being okay with the fact that I wear an extra large in shirts and a size 20 jean. No. That’s not okay anymore, and starting next week, shit is going to change.

No snacks. None. Not unless they’re fruit. After our 2 liter of Dr Pepper is gone, I am going to be lucky if I drink soda twice a month. Also, I’m going to drastically cut back on the amount of meats and cooked foods I eat.

I’d go full whack and go veg, or even for a raw diet, but we all know I could never survive without bread, or cheese. I was pleased to realize, however, that the guacamole recipe I make isn’t just vegetarian, it’s vegan. No animal products in it whatsoever. So it makes me feel better that even if I do go veg or vegan,  I can still have my guac. Lol.

I don’t know. I tend to freak out when I hear a recipe is vegan…I don’t know. I like my milk. And eggs. And cheese. And I would prefer not to have to subsist on like… TVP, tofu, and agave nector for the rest of my life. I don’t know.

Still. I don’t think I’m ever going to go fully veg or vegan. I might go to where I’m mostly vegetarian but have meat once or twice a month. Or only on special occasions, like Thanksgiving. I’m willing to give up some stuff, but I am NOT eating tofurky on Thanksgiving. No. XD

All I know is, I want to lose weight and I need to lose a lot of it.

Breakfast:
+An english muffin with some butter, and honeycomb honey.

Lunch:
+A tuna sandwich (half a can of tuna), and the last of the corn fritter dish .

Dinner:
+A lunchmeat sandwich. Also taco chips, and some homemade guacamole.

Also today, I’ve had a fun sized snicker bar, a bowl of cereal, and some plums.  I’m hoping my sense of guilt will keep me from eating anything else, and considering the fact that it’s like, 11pm, I should be okay.

Anyway. I’m off to MSN chat and do facebooky things until I decide to go to bed.

These beautiful colors, infinite patterns are what I see. And though we’re all the same stuff, there’s not one of you who is the same as me…. {Day 75}

-Beautiful Colors, by Duran Duran

Hello hello and welcome to day 75. Today I’m on top of things and writing this entry earlier than I normally do, so hopefully it won’t sound so rushed and half assed. XD

Today was a fairly good day, despite not a whole lot going on.  I spent a couple hours this morning setting up a bunch of my pictures on deviantart as prints available for purchase. I hope it’s not a futile attempt to collect money to see Duran Duran. XD We’ll have to see. I would really, REALLY like to be able to see Duran Duran, but if my efforts fall short, I can always use whatever money I save to see Def Leppard and Heart this summer.

I discovered why I am not going to have an etsy. I began to set one up this morning, until I discovered you have to have a credit card, AND pay to be a selling member. If I’d have known that beforehand, I wouldn’t have bothered to register.

I got a little peeved at them. If I had money, I wouldn’t need to be feverishly contemplating ways to raise quick funds. Speaking of which, I have some bottle cap pins I’ve made that are currently for sale.

http://crystalsister.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d3ar29z

Please check it out and contact me if you are interested. Five of them are already spoken for, but if the ones you want are free, I’ll be glad to work something out. I take cash, but you would probably be more comfortable with sending a money order, I’m guessing.

Also, any of the drawings you see in my deviantart gallery are for sale if I still have them. Also, if you’re a dA member,  a number of my deviations are available through dA’s prints service.

I apologize if I sound like a desperate beggar woman, but that’s pretty much what I am right now. I still haven’t asked my parents if they’d be willing to front the tickets and have me pay them back double. I’m understandably a little iffy about asking them.

BUT. I am on the waitlist for AmeriCorps. I basically have to fill out a few forms and send to them, and meanwhile they’ll be conducting whatever background checks they do on people. I mean. Maybe my parents would be more willing to do it now that I’m making an effort to do something with my life. I’ve also decided I’m going to do what should have been done before and be better about doing things in the house and I’ll try to curb my attitude.

I mean. It looks a little bad because I’m willing to do all this stuff conveniently around the time that I really really want Duran Duran tickets, but… It’s not just because of that. It’s because I really should have worried about this stuff before. Sometimes I just need a little motivating factor to get me started.

This isn’t going to be one of those things that strive for only until I get the reward at hand. I hope to keep this going.

Anyway, this is way more banter bs that you’re used to so let’s just move on to the food.

Breakfast:
+A piece of soda bread. It was kind of thick. Not as thick as two normal pieces but probably equalled one and a half.

Lunch:
+A piece of leftover lasagna. Nothing else. It was technically dad’s piece but he didn’t want it.

Dinner:
+A piece of fish coated in crushed up taco chips, with some corn fritter stuff. It had the same stuff in it as corn fritters, but it was a spoonable side dish dad has had at work.

Also, I can safely say the only other stuff I’ve eaten today was the last piece of soda bread (small because it was towards the end). I’m in the process of eating some frozen banana slices, and I’ve got a fun sized snicker bar sitting on the desk right now, but I will not be eating anything else tonight. You can quote me on that.

Well, I’m off to contemplate ways to raise money for myself, and to put together an art blog entry for today.