I get the same old dreams, same time every night/Fall to the ground and I wake up

-Sinve You’ve Been Gone, by Rainbow.

I know it’s been an ungodly long time since I’ve written here, but there are valid reasons for that. Firstly, I don’t know if I’ve told you all here yet (I probably have, my memory is terrible) but after months of getting pissed at my computer not working (i.e. when I turned it on, all I got was a black screen. And yes, it was on) I did a system recovery, or whatever the fuck it’s called. Which got my computer working again, but I lost everything on it. At first I was kind of pissed, as I had my writing on there, and a couple songs I had started writing that I’ll never get back, but for the most part, I’m okay with it. I’m only a little annoyed that I lost a ton of my Queen fanfic and a bunch of my Labyrinth one. But to be honest, I don’t know that the Queen one was any good, and I’m going to change up the Labyrinth one anyway so it’s all good.

Anyway. In my last entry I discussed being pissed about myself and my weight.  And I admitted to wearing a size 24 (not an easy thing for me to admit, seeing as there are a bunch of assholes on the internet…) but as I write to you now, I am wearing a size 22 pair of jeans. Yes I know, size 22 is still humongous, but it’s better than 24. And it helps with what I eat too, because I’ll see something that looks really good, then I’ll be like… No. I just barely got fitting into these size 22s, I don’t want to fuck it up already. Because my goal is to hit size 18 by October 31st, so I can wear my senior prom dress for Halloween. And if that goes well I might just shoot for size 16 by the end of the year. Which might not happen with junk food season approaching.

It seems riding my bike is helping, at any rate. And I suppose I can’t discredit me buying less junk food and more healthier stuff. Like cucumbers, tomatoes, etc. And cheese. Yes, cheese can be bad for you, but before I bought french fries, lunchable sandwiches, and ice cream sooo…. cheese is actually an improvement.

After that (as far as weight loss goes), it’ll be a little weird, because the smallest I can remember being is a size 14. I was obviously smaller than that when I was a kid, but you catch my drift. I don’t want to look too far ahead into the future… I know it’s a long way off but I think my ultimate goal, if I can get to it, would be a size 10. Which obviously wouldn’t be for a couple years, if I wanted to shoot for that.

Once again, I’ve totally forgotten what I even wanted to talk about when I started this.

Oh, right.

Okay so, I had a bit of an emotional breakdown this morning, over the stupidest thing. I know I haven’t told you yet, but I’ve got my summer job at the seasonal restaurant I’ve worked at before. I didn’t last summer, but the summer before that I did. Anyway, I recently got upset with them over a stupid scheduling issue. Saturday nights in the summer are usually super busy, as expected. But, i think it was last Saturday night, it was not only regular Saturday business, but there was a class reunion AND a birthday party scheduled. I was pissed off.

And she scheduled one, count them, ONE dishwasher. So, I hope people understood that I got pissed at them when they told me to pick it up, or when they got annoyed that I was falling way  behind. Um, duh. Do you have any idea about the volume of dishes that goes through my work area when all that shit is happening at once? It’s a lot. And to only have scheduled ONE dishwasher is a bit insane. Especially when they schedule so many cooks. They’ll schedule five cooks, but one dishwasher. And two or three of the cooks will be doing NOTHING, while my window is full of dishes and when there are six full bus tubs on the floor. And then they yell “WE’RE OUT OF BASKETS!”. Buy more baskets. Or tell one of the stupid cooks to help me.

And granted, sometimes I do get help, but not even for an hour at a time. And dammit, other people wash dishes faster, but mine are the cleanest.

But whatever. I didn’t come here to rant about work. What I was going to say was, I called work today to find out if they wanted me to work this weekend (my work never posts schedules. I always have to ask when I work) and I said I couldn’t work tomorrow.. As my brother has scholarship stuff to be at in like, Des Moines. Dad and my brother are leaving tonight after Dad gets off work. Then dad has to work tomorrow night, so he has to come home before work. Then tomorrow after work, my mom is going to Des Moines. So it’s really weird, and it would have been easier for me to just not work. On the phone, my boss literally said “not working wasn’t an option”. Usually this place is really lenient about scheduling, but there is some uber huge festival on Friday. And the way she said it made me think I was the only one scheduled. Would it be such a big deal if she wasn’t absolutely depending on me being there?

It’s a good thing I don’t have a life, or a real job. What if I got sick? Throwing up, can’t move without getting nauseous sick? Then she’d be screwed. What if I had to work at a real job? Screwed. You can’t just schedule one person and depend on them… WITHOUT TELLING THEM more than a day before. Seriously. If I hadn’t called this morning, I wouldn’t know! And if I was the only scheduled dishwasher on a super busy day (and it was therefore really important), don’t you think you would LET ME KNOW?

This is my only job so I can’t really be picky, but I just wish they would even out their schedules and write them down. And.. it would be so much easier for them to have people work certain days. Like schedule me for Friday, Saturday, and Sunday every week. Then I would KNOW what I worked.

Whatever. I’ve already spent enough time yammering about it. And I’ve already been online at the library a lot longer than I intended (this happens frequently when I don’t have regular net access at home) so this is where I leave you.

Until next time.. which could be next week or six months from now, bye!

Advertisements