Nothing ventured nothing gained, no more lingering doubt remained. Nothing sacred or profane, everything to gain….

-“Nothing Left to Lose”, by the Alan Parsons Project.

Well kids, 2008 is almost over. It’s been a really strange year. It kind of began with me spending New Years at my best friend Vanessa’s, getting completely tanked in three different bars, and at her house at the time. My camera got crushed under a couch, and I spent a subsequent five or so months not knowing that while the screen was busted, it still took pictures.

I got a summer job at PM Park. I continued to play in Municipal Band.

I visited my friend Vanessa again during the summer and we had fun taking walks, playing video games, taking pictures, having intelligent discussions and of course getting hammered (I’m guessing the last two didn’t occur at the same time).

My PM Park connections got me a job at the Colony Inn, which I am very lucky to have, by the way.

It’s just been a weird whirlwind of a year. To me, it seemed to pass a lot faster than previous years, for some reason. Probably because most of the people I know have had to go through a huge torrent of bullshit.

My dad got laid off from Winnebago after working there for five years. My mother had all sorts of school drama to deal with as did my brother, and I.. well. I struggled with some of the same things I always do, but at the same time, learned a lot.

PM Park taught me I can survive working 8+ hours a day which is going to be a handy skill in life. I also picked up on a few things such as, ‘You can’t always get what you want’, and ‘Work sucks but you have to do it, so you may as well deal with it’… Stuff along these lines. I also thought I learned that it could always be worse (which it could), but looking back, that’s kind of a downer way to look at life.

I don’t know how long that little sliver of optimism will last (probably not long, considering), but I take what I can get in that department.

My Christmas was enjoyable. I received my first mp3 player (a SansaClip 4G), 25 bucks from my Grandpa Pope, a 25 dollar gift card to my favorite coffee place, a calendar, a snowglobe, several cds including a 2 cd greatest hits set by the Doors and the Across the Universe soundtrack, and I got a 20 dollar gift card to Wal-Mart which I spent on headphones for my mp3 player, and speakers for my mp3 player).

All in all, I don’t have any room to complain and I have a whole hell of a lot to be thankful for.

Even though I do have a lot to be thankful for, I am really wishing that life would give some people I know a break.

My best friend is going through a hard time, what with quitting her waitressing job (barely any hours, co workers treating her like shit, etc), and her other job not working out (They had barely any business, plus a pipe burst at work), it’s like… of all the people in the world that deserve a truckload of shit, she got it? Fucking fuck people. She has loads of perserverance, doesn’t take any shit from anyone, she’s one of the nicest people I know, and she actually has a brain, for starters. She’s done her part, and if I could take on half the torrent of crap she’s going through to get some of it off her back, I would.

She’s the last person that deserved it, but that doesn’t change the fact that it happened. I know it’s hard to keep a positive outlook when things get like that, and believe me, I know I’m the last person most would suspect would be spewing optimism all over the place, but trust me, it will get better. It always does. You are a good person. Sure. Good people don’t always make it, but let’s face it, they have a hell of a better chance than people not-so-good people.

Just keep your chin up, and remember my computer’s on all day and my phone line’s  always open (except when I’m sleeping). 😉 I know you’ll get through it because it’s the type of person you are.

Anyhoo. I’m visiting my best friend this Friday, but I’m still waiting for the details on when she would prefer I get to Ames. We were planning on me getting there around 6pm, but with the work situation being what it is, that time may have changed. I’m all open to any time so long as I’m there before dark.

Another update you may or may not have been waiting for. If you’re wondering about my sanity, it’s no better off. I continue to be driven mad, and that time of the month hasn’t helped matters along any. I haven’t stayed after work nearly as much which is depressing for my social life but better for my wallet. Oh well. When one door closes, another opens, they always say (I have yet to figure out who ‘they’ are).

In short, this year has been filled with a number of ups and downs. The major downs I could have done without, but if we didn’t have bad times mixed in with the good, we’d have no way to differentiate between them.

I wish you all the best in 2009 (Unless I don’t like you; then may you burn in hell).


People are strange…

-The Doors.

Well. It seems like it’s been ages since I’ve written here but it’s only been a couple weeks. Weird. It seems it was November, and in the time it took me to sneeze, we poofed halfway through December. Where did the time go?

The strange thing about all that is, time seems to fly, except at work. Even when it’s not boring or hectic, it always seems like I’m at work for about twice as long as I actually am.

Anyway. You all know how the computer I’m normally on crapped out on me at the beginning of November, basically. You’ll be happy to know that it is now working, thus my presence here right now. It took long enough. When it was finally up and running and the parentals gave me the go ahead, I honestly could have cried I was so happy.

It wasn’t the internet that I was mad about being kept from, it was the fact that I couldn’t work on any of my pictures during that time. Two weeks is about fourteen days too long to keep me away from my photography.

Work has been work. Last Saturday, I was thisclose to strangling the 14 year old twit I work with. He was just being a complete tool. Arguing with me. Once again, his dishwashing skills were complete crap, and when I told him he needed to start doing his job, he’d say “I AM DOING MY JOB” with a tone of voice that has the uncanny ability to boil tempers in .2 seconds flat. And he was getting lazy. One of the cooks (I believe it was Mitch, but I can’t remember for sure) asked one of us to do something and right away the twit pops up ‘She can do it’. Not that I’m not willing to help out, which I of course am, but it wouldn’t have killed the twit to ask me first. Not to mention he has no right to tell me what to do. I am actually the one with the rights to boss him around but , in the twit’s very own words  “I don’t have to listen to you”.

I think next time I tell him to do something, I’m going to ask Adam or Mitch to tell him, because the twit will listen to them.

I think this is partially my fault because when I first started working with the twit, I tried to be nice and all; I think the twit started seeing me as more of a pal to goof off with than a person at work who he had to listen to. I’ve been acting like more of the latter, thinking, you know, maybe he’ll get the message, but considering how long it’s taking him to realize there are some dishes that are going to be really hot and he should not just grab bare handed, him learning anything else could take a while. He’s not exactly the brighest. Put it this way. If his intelligence were a Christmas tree it would be a Charlie Brown one. Sparse. Lacking. You get the picture.

Last Tuesday, school was cancelled, so my mother and brother were home all day. I was looking forward to work, since I basically hadn’t gone anywhere since work on Saturday, and I knew I wouldn’t have to work with the twit. I got called and told not to come to work, there probably wouldn’t be enough business.

Thing is, I kinda get shit for hours anyway, so losing one day out of a grand total of four days a week that I work, eh.

On all these tedius work days I seem to be having, I keep thinking to myself, when can I leave, I’m never going to get out of here, but at the same time, I’m trying to tell myself “Yeah, you might not get out of here until two hours after the kitchen closes, but that’s two extra hours you’d get paid for”.

Anyway. Last night. Last night was interesting. My mom and brother were using mom’s car. Dad had to take my car to work because his truck wouldn’t start. So, this left me having to drive the van to work.

The evening didn’t start off all that well. I was on the phone with Vanessa, and I lost track of time. I didn’t get off the phone until like 5:40pm and I go into work at six. I had to rush around getting dressed and such.
It turned out, dad conveniently forgot to tell me that, to get the keys to the van to actually go into the ignition, you have to turn this little thing a certain way. I tried jamming every key on the keyring into the ignition, nothing was working. Meanwhile the minutes are ticking by, I’m paranoid I’ll be late to work.

I call dad (who is at work at this point) in  hysterics, going Why isn’t the car starting, I’ve tried every key on this ring and none of them work, I’m going to be late to work, etc, basically flipping out on him.

I finally get the key in the ignition and get on the road. I’m running late, so I took the highway instead of the residental streets I usually take to work.

So, the roads are kinda slick, and I’m not used to driving the van, and even though I was going the speed limit, the stupid prick behind me was tailgating me like it was going out of fucking style. Keep in mind that I’m already panicky about being late to work, add the icy roads, my paranoia of getting in an accident, and everything, I was in a GREAT mood when I got to work.

It soon got better though. Everyone in the kitchen laughed and joked around for a bit.

We were super busy because in addition to the regular bar and restaurant business, there was a party going on in the party room.

Business died down a little around 9, and since it was the twit’s turn to leave early, he went home. Not ten minutes later, I start getting endlessly bombarded with full bus tubs, huge pans, oven racks, huge knives. One of the knives in question was at least twelve inches long.

My hands were slippery from washing a bunch of greasy dishes. I was in hurry, trying to keep up with all the dishes and shit. I grabbed the knife in question and was wiping it off when my  hand slipped and I put a nice half inch long slash on the middle finger on my left hand.

Earlier today I took the liberty of taking a picture, because I can. I’m posting the link, because the picture is huge.

It was pretty hard to keep my composure after that, considering I don’t really like seeing blood, even if it’s not that much.

I don’t remember exactly when I got off work, but it couldn’t have happened fast enough.
So anyway, I stayed after work, because it was just one of those work days where you just need a damn drink afterwards.

I sat at the bar to bother my co workers, and once again Mitch was very entertaining. I had my sketch book out and was doodling with a colored Sharpie when out of nowhere Mitch says “Dear Santa, please give Mitchell all my presents”. Although I discovered a new dimension to his oddity. At one point he was trying to draw a picture on a napkin and kept messing up, so instead of throwing the napkin away, he ate it.. I’m not lying. I’d have taken a picture if I’d bothered to bring my camera. I just about died laughing.

We had a lot of nice discussions, including one about how I always say ‘It could always be worse’, but he pointed out that it could always be worse, but it could also always be better which quite frankly after the sort of day I’d had I needed that sort of encouragement.

Apparently another thing I need is to initiate conversations more in order to avoid reminding Mitch of his mother.

Tonight at work should be interesting, seeing as I work with the twit again, but on the up side it’s my turn to leave early, and since I’m guessing there won’t be a party tonight, we won’t be as busy. Although, there is another party that’s supposed to be there, I’m not sure when. If it’s tonight I’m gonna be angry. Still. I don’t give a shit, I’m leaving early. If I get out before the kitchen closes I might order some food. A sandwich or something, perhaps. If I can get them to make me half an order of small onion rings I might get that, because honest to god the small order is gigantic. When I ordered that once I shared with like five of my co workers because there was no way I was going to be able to finish it all.

Anyway I’m really going to go now. You won’t see me until Sunday at the earliest.