I’d like to help you in your struggle to be free, there must be “fifty” ways to leave your lover

-Paul Simon

Day 50. The big 5-0. This makes this blog over the hill! LOL

I’m thinking of going a more simple approach to this blog. Where I just list a bunch of stuff I did, then list my food, then get the hell out.

Firstly, even though this blog came way first, I am finding that I prefer my art blog. I may just switch all the banter about my day to that blog, and make this just about listing my food and workouts. That sort of thing. I don’t know. That’s how it’ll be today anyway. I’ve felt like complete shit all day, and I just don’t feel like going on forever. I’ll think about blog formatting. For now, let’s just get to the food, and then I’m back to hating my allergies and playing on facebook until I pass out for the night.


+turkey lunchmeat sandwich. Yes I’m weird. No I don’t care if you care

+Couscous, with some chopped onion, Worcestershire sauce, and tomato paste, with a couple slices of lunch meat chopped up and mixed in. It sounds really bizarre, but it tasted fab. It actually holds together well enough that I think I could actually fry it into a patty. I still have half of it left. I may try to make it into a patty for tomorrow’s lunch.

+A small piece of strip steak, with mashed potatoes (real, not from a box), and some creamed corn.

As for non meal eating, I ate too many of the small chocolate filled croissants that I made yesterday. I might have a couple more, actually.

Today’s really not been great as far as food, but it could have been a lot worse. Plus, those croissants aren’t that bad for you. They don’t have much chocolate in them, and since most of the butter melted out when they were in the oven, I don’t feel that bad.

I will let you know on tomorrow’s entry if I eat anything else tonight.

Now, off to do facebook stuff, chat on MSN, and then later charge my mp3 player, watch Craig Ferguson on youtube, and then pass out in bed

Oh, wouldn’t the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at? [Day 49]

~W.S. Gilbert

I have a raging headache right now, so forgive me if this entry seems a bit rushed.

Here’s a list of stuff I did today:

+Discovered that for the first time since wearing 40 DD bras, I do not need to wear the bra extender I have had to use to fit into them up to this point.

+Ate a pancake for breakfast

+Did dishes.

+Sat around

+Watched the Oscars

+Decided that if I ever get down to 140 pounds, I’m going to start getting tattoo sleeves. On at least my upper arms, so I can still look normal at job interviews.

Now, here is a list of my food. Then I’m going to go write today’s art blog, then I’m going to go OD on tylenol and make some hot tea.

+A pancake with syrup.

+Two breaded fish filets, some french fries.

+some chicken rice campbells soup

As for non meal eating, a bunch of small chocolate filled croissants that I made.

You may have caught up there mention of tattoo sleeves. I had a wild hair this morning and decided that if I ever get down to 140 pounds,  I’m going to begin work on upper arm sleeve tattoos. At least upper arm. It depends on what my situation is financially, but if I can ever get down to that weight, I want to get sleeve tattoos. I have to credit Margret Cho with the idea (Random, I know, but I got the idea after watching her standup on tv ages ago).

I figure… upper arm sleeve tattoos would let me get a bit creative and such with the combination of tattoos I want to make up that sleeve, and it would also allow me to wear longer sleeved shirts, so I could still look normal and presentable in business and job situations. It’s a long way off,  so I’m not going to worry about specifics yet, but I definitely need tattoos in honor of Thomas Dolby (Valley of the Mind’s Eye, to be specific), David Bowie, The Who, Queen, and the Alan Parsons Project. And any other musician that has been influential to me. Maybe throw in some Elton John and Billy Joel lyrics. Like I said, long way off. XD

Anyway, I’m off to write my art blog and then do something about this godforsaken headache, which has been giving me hell all day.

Just living is not enough. One must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower. [Day 48]

~Hans Christian Anderson

Damn. Are we at day 48 already? Shit. How time flies.

Now, admittedly, I haven’t been putting as much effort into this blog as I originally intended, but still, I haven’t missed a day, and unless I land myself in the hospital or something, I don’t forsee myself missing one. Until, maybe the summer. If we take little weekend trips, like we’re planning on, then I may have to food journal when I’m there, and update the blog when I get home. Like that skull a day blogger guy did. Lol.

I got up at like… 7:45-8am, and got right on doing dishes, and getting myself some coffee. What with brainstorming today’s picture for my art blog, and the internet, I kinda forgot to eat breakfast. Take note. It’s probably the last time I’ll ever forget to eat. Lol.

So, a bit after 10, mom and I went to Mason to do some grocery shopping. I’m really weird, because I enjoy grocery shopping a fair bit. Almost more than like, regular shopping. It’s one of my oddities, I guess.

We went to Dollar Tree, were we picked up some pastel junior mints. We went to Hy-Vee next, where we got a bunch of stuff. I got mom to buy me a can of my Peace Tea. I’m addicted to the stuff. And not just because it’s got a bunch of hippie imagery plastered on the can. It really is tasty, and really isn’t too bad for you. I think my favorite kinds are the unsweetened tea, and the diet green tea. But they’re all pretty awesome. And yes, I have tried them all. Lol.

We went to Target last, where there were a couple samples. Like bread. And dr pepper 10. Mom had to twist my arm to get me to drink a small glass of free soda. It was horrible. LOL. Actually it was pretty awesome. We actually bought a two liter, because it was on sale for 99 cents, and the sample ladies gave us a 55 cents off coupon. YES

Now Hy-Vee needs to discover a huge stock of Mountain Dew throwback and start selling the 20 oz bottles for forty cents, and I’ll be happy.

We came home briefly to put away the groceries, then went to the library. Where mom works the book sale. It’s just a bunch of shelves with sale books on them. It’s not like a bake sale with people right there taking your money. I help with that for the hell of it.

As expected, I didn’t get the job position available at the library, which I didn’t figure I would. I have never gotten any of the library jobs I have applied for, probably because I’ve had so many overdue books and movies. Also.. the library director is a nice lady, and once suggested a book to me. Actually two. Once a book about 1969, and another was a book about Jay Z. Who I actually don’t give a shit about, but I thought it was cute that she knew enough to know that I like music.

I like this lady, but she’s a little… uppity. That bothers me.

Whatever. So then we came home and did all sorts of vegging out. Watching Psych, and other various tv, and me finishing up today’s picture for my art blog. Now, the food.


Breakfast was really non existent today.

+A cup of potato salad, right after we got home. Then, we left again. And when we got back I ate a sandwich.

+A chunk of artisan bread from hy-vee, 1 cup of bean and ham soup, and the last of the halitosis inducing potato salad. It really tasted awesome, but if I make it again I’m not putting in much onion at all.

In addition, I had some pastel junior mints, a cup of shamrock shake from mc donalds (the only shit we EVER get there. That and egg nog shakes), and I think that’s it.

Now, I’m off to submit today’s entry to my art blog, which you can read here: http://bluesilversartproject.blogspot.com/


I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way – things I had no words for. [Day 47]

~Georgia O’Keeffe

Well, it’s day 47, and I’m discovering just how low my tolerance is. I had one wine cooler. Just one. And I’ve got a really great buzz.

I weigh… well a lot. Over 200 pounds. A single wine cooler should not give me this kind of buzz.


Today was, once again, nothing out of the ordinary, really. Got up. Did dishes. Messed about online. At around 10am, dad and I went to the grocery store to pick up a few things.

We came home. I did more dishes. Then I ate lunch. Then I drew some, messed about online more, did more dishes, and put in some laundry. Which is still in the drier. It’s dry, but right now I’m too lazy to give a shit. I’ll deal with it some time before I get to bed, though, so it’s all good.

Today, it was fucking cold out. So I didn’t go anywhere. The two dvds I checked out from the library I checked out on Wednesday. We get them for four days, but since the library isn’t open on Sunday, I don’t have to turn them in until Monday. So I’m not worried about those.

See? That’s one plus to writing a blog every day. I don’t have to keep track of those little checkout slips you get from the library telling you when your shit is due. LOL.

Actually, that was probably the most exciting thing I did today, going to the grocery store with dad. SAD. Lol

I actually spent a fair amount of time making today’s entry for my art project blog, so there was that.

Sorry. I just don’t have much to report today.  Go here: http://bluesilversartproject.blogspot.com/ to read the interesting shit.

Now, the food, and then I’m getting out of here to do other internety things until I go to bed.


+A cup of potato salad and a slice of pizza. BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

+A thin sliced turkey sandwich, and a cup of potato salad

+Two pieces of pizza, and some more potato salad. (Hey, we don’t have potato salad much, and we don’t order pizza much, so give me a break)

My idea is that there is music in the air, music all around us; the world is full of it, and you simply take as much as you require. [Day 46]

~Edward Elgar

Day 46. Yep.

I don’t know what else to say. I realize how boring this blog has turned out to be, so I don’t even really know why I’m bothering to write it, but… I said I was going to do it every day, so I’m going to do it every day. My initial plan is to do it for a year, but I’ll keep doing it as long as I feel that it’s helpful. After a year is up, I may stop numbering my entries, if I do keep doing this.

Anyway, today was… fine, I suppose. It wasn’t very different from any other day.

I seem to be on a kick where I start doing chores early in the morning. I’ve gotten used to waiting until dad leaves for work to really get chores done. Because some of them are easier to do when he’s gone. I.e. vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, mopping the kitchen, etc.

Starting the chores early in turn lets me get them done earlier, so I don’t have to hurry through them at the end of the day.

When dad turned on the tv this morning, he couldn’t find Law & Order on. This is amazing, because my dad is ALWAYS watching Law & Order. I like Law & Order, it’s a good show,  but I cannot fathom how my dad is not completely sick of it by now. Instead, my dad got out his Heroes, season 4 dvd and watched that for three hours. I consider this a gift from the tv gods, and I am thoroughly grateful. Lol. I had forgotten just how goddam adorable Masi Oka was. XD

So, there’s that. Dad left for work at like, 2:30 or so. I can’t remember exactly.

Having the tv to myself, I put in Howl’s Moving Castle (which I checked out from the library) and exercised for the first like, 20 minutes or so. It’s nice that the dvd player has a running timer.  XD

Seriously, Hayao Miyazaki is a god. I love everything he’s done that I’ve seen.  I could go on and on, but I’ll restrain myself. Lol

So, after that, I was trying to think about something to make for dinner. Mom was gone at an out of town conference thinger (she was only like two hours away, but she was not in school today, and got back a little later than normal). I decided out of nowhere that I was in the mood for potato salad. I was going to make spaghetti with fake meat from morningstar farms, but we didn’t have any spaghetti noodles.

So, I made potato salad. The only flaw? I didn’t even put in as many onions as the recipe calls for, but the salad gives you onion breath. The salad itself doesn’t taste overly oniony, but you can certainly tell after you’ve finished eating it.

So, my lesson for next time is, put a minuscule amount of onion in potato salad. Lol.

Strangely enough, I had just finished making the potato salad, and putting it away in containers in the fridge when mom got home.

We ordered a pizza and some cinnamon sticks, which were amazing, btw.

Then I watched The Mentalist. It’s a good show, but I don’t really worry about watching it regularly.

Now, I’m rushing to get this entry, and my art blog entry up. Lol. I was too busy playing sims 2 today to get a jump on this stuff. I’ll try to be better about it in the future. Lol.

Now the food.


+Half a bagel

+Half a hamburger bun, with the last of my vegan sloppy joe stuff. Ruined the vegan status by eating cheese with it. I had a bowl of cheese puffs with the sandwich

Three slices of pizza (one was really small, people apparently can’t cut even slices around here) two cinnamon sticks.

As for my non meal food, I had a scoop of ice cream, and a few biscuits. They are now gone, but it was a simple enough recipe that I think I’ll probably make more.

Now, I’m off to hurry and write my art blog entry, which you can find here: http://bluesilversartproject.blogspot.com/ in just a few minutes. If it’s not day 4 yet, try back again later. Lol.

You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus. [Day 45]

~Mark Twain

Yep. It’s day 45, and I have basically given up on looking for number quotes anymore, since most of them are either from the bible, or from stupid sports people. And I’m not a fan of either, so… there’s that.


Today was a pretty good day, when you think about it. I can’t remember what time I got up, but echoing my behavior for the past couple of days, I started right in on some chores, as to get them out of the way. It was around 8:30 or 9am that I began debating on whether or not I wanted to walk to the library. I didn’t have anything due, but it was pretty outside. In the end, I decided to walk to the library. I took a total of 80 pictures.

When I got to the library, I spent little over an hour on the internet. Since we have internet at home, I’m not really in a hurry to walk to the library, just for the computer. But… Their internet is much, much faster than ours, and they have better computers. And I had nothing better to do.

I ended up checking out the dvds of Ponyo and Howl’s Moving Castle, just because I’m a big fat Miyazaki nerd. I love all of his movies that I’ve seen. Just… brilliant. I wish I could draw like that. It’s like, my ideal art style. If I could pick anyone’s animation style to adopt, it’d be that style.

I wish I had enough patience to be an animator. Well. And enough talent. I may have my drawing talents here and there, but nothing even remotely close to what I’d need for animation. I have loads of ideas, but I would need a real artist to help them see the light of day. Lol. Every Elton John needs their Bernie Taupin. Every Paul McCartney needs their John Lennon. If you catch my drift. Lol.

Speaking of that comparison, Joe Hisaishi and Hayao Miyazaki… Joe Hisaishi does the music for a majority of Miyazaki’s films, and it’s just a perfect match.

But anyway. Enough of me ranting. Day three of my art project will soon be up, so check my blogger blog in about an hour. http://bluesilversartproject.blogspot.com/

As I probably won’t get the entry finished before my show, Off the Map is on.

Now, the food. And then I’m going to go watch my show.

An egg and a half, scrambled (as I used half an egg for an egg wash for some biscuits I made) and three small biscuits.

A little bit of ramen (mom made some today… as a rule I don’t eat ramen. But it was there). And a chicken patty. It was a bit of a strange sandwich. Chicken patty, sour cream, salsa. I have strange eating habits, if you hadn’t figured that out in forty five days.

Frozen healthy choice meal. It was like… beef tips in mushroom sauce, with mashed potatoes, veggies, and apple slices in a caramel sauce with whole grains sprinkled in. I’ll tell you right now… The main dish, i.e. the beef and the potatoes, were pretty good. The vegetables were disgusting, but I ate them anyway, and the apple stuff… was mediocre.  I should have asked mom to buy the generic pizza rolls instead. I mean. The main dish was good, but wasn’t worth the other crap in it.

Also, I had a bar, another couple biscuits, a fun dip, and a couple chocolate peanut butter hearts. May have another fun dip, but that would be it.

Anyway. My show is on in nine minutes, so I’ll see you later.

If a composer could say what he had to say in words he would not bother trying to say it in music. [Day 44]

~Gustav Mahler

Well hello there, ladies and germs. It seems that we have hit day 44, and I am once again unable to come up with a quote actually featuring the number 44. Also, forgive me if I sound a little strange, I can’t figure out if my jitters right now are lack of caffeine, or low blood sugar. Or the cold. Who knows.

Anyway. Before we get too far into this, Day 2 of my art project is live on my blogger. http://bluesilversartproject.blogspot.com/2011/02/day-2365-adolescence.html Be there or be square, bitches!

Now back to your regularly scheduled blog already in progress.

Today was a bit out of the ordinary, but I’d like to begin with a story about my night lastnight. It wasn’t that different from most nights, actually. Me, playing about on facebook until 1am.  That kind of thing.

So, I get up to go to the bathroom before bed, as I always do, and when I got into the bathroom… the mouth rinsing cup was upside down on the sink, and there was a green washcloth in the toilet. IN the toilet. With pee in the toilet.

Thankfully, I have latex toilet cleaning gloves. I suspected my dad was sleepwalking again.

Which, I think he did. When I got up this morning, he was gone to an out of town job interview, but my mom said that there was milk spilled on the stove, as well as powdered hot cereal mix spilled on the stove, on the floor, and on a shelf in the pantry.

Now, the last I knew, dad had stopped taking the medication that made him sleepwalk. I’m not sure what he’s taking or what doses they are, or if any doses have changed. Also… it could just be him sleepwalking. People sleepwalk who are not taking any medications, so it could just be that.

I just hope he doesn’t start doing that regularly. The sleepwalking was funny when it was just dad trying to make brown sugar and butter sandwiches, or when he ate powdered tartar sauce mix, and it tasted so bad it woke him up.

What wasn’t funny was the time, when sleepwalking, that he put oil in a pan, on the stove, and turned on the stove burner. He did that twice.

I’m not really worried, but I am going to check the kitchen before I go to bed, just to make myself feel a little better. Plus… Mom usually gets up during the night to use the bathroom, so she would notice if he turned the stove on.

Anyway. Dad wasn’t to be back until after noon, so I took advantage and did chores. My mom leaves me a list of stuff I can do around the house to help out, and I literally had all but one of the chores done by 9am. The laundry in the drier is the only thing left, and I didn’t discover that until an hour ago. Or else that would be done, too.

I mean… Don’t get me wrong. It was really nice to have all that stuff done early, but it kind of left me with nothing to do the rest of the day. I was planning to go to the library, but my mom dropped off all the dvds, so I didn’t really have a legit reason to want to go anywhere… Except to buy a can of soda. And we all know I don’t need that. So I didn’t go anywhere.

Also, my back hurt like a bitch today, so I didn’t exercise.

When dad got home at like… noon or 1. I can’t remember. He basically sat right down in his chair and fell asleep. He slept through me doing two loads of dishes, making a big racket while putting pans away in the drawer underneath the stove, and through me mixing up and baking biscuits. If it weren’t for the oven timer, he’d probably have slept through the whole ordeal.

After that, I messed around online until Glee was on. Glee tonight was very entertaining. Go watch it if you haven’t seen it.

Now, the food part. So I can get it over with.

+ Bowl of generic red berry cereal
A few hours later, I had a cup of blueberry oatmeal with a little bit of sugar sprinkled on top.

+ Leftover couscous from yesterday, but today I mixed chopped tomato in it and sprinkled a bit of parmesan on top… Stuff it, spellcheck. I am not capitalizing that word.

+A hamburger patty, with no bun or anything. Half a slice of cheese (I ate the other half alone) with a little bit of ketchup, and three adorable tiny heart biscuits I made. I had two other biscuits before that. I don’t want that to sound bad, because I can fit two or three of those mini biscuits in the palm of my hand.

I also had three reeses peanut butter hearts. And another bowl of cereal.

So, yeah. That was my day. Tomorrow, I’m probably going to walk to the library, if the weather isn’t too awful. Again, if you haven’t checked it out, go take a gander at http://bluesilversartproject.blogspot.com/2011/02/day-2365-adolescence.html. And while you’re at it, be a dear and comment. 🙂

Anyway, I’m off to do facebooky deviantarty things, and brainstorm an idea for tomorrow’s theme, “adore”, so au revoir. 🙂