Dream a little dream of me…

-Mamas and Papas.

I’m not sure what that song has to do with my entry today, other than I’ve listened to it about five times in a row on youtube. It’s such a great mellow song, it reminds me of retro summers or something. It’s great.


Since I documented my day in pictures, it doesn’t feel like much has gone on. Summer is here, and June has been a strange month. For the first two weeks the weather was pleasant, although it did rain a little more than I would like.

Then, we got a huge storm, and it got freaking humid. Those humid days where you are sweating your ass off just sitting around. Great incentive to get up and do shit, right? So then yesterday we got a huge rainstorm, but for little longer than an hour, and now it’s nice out. The humidity has not returned to its full extent, but then again, it is only ten thirty in the morning.

A week or so ago, my mother, brother, and I went to Medford Mall. I didn’t spend much money. I got presents for my friend Jenny, she is about 4 months pregnant and is planning on having a shower some time in August. I am so excited for that. I don’t want summer to be over, but I can’t wait to go to Jenny’s baby shower.

Anyway.  Today was a pleasant enough morning to start out with. My parents left to go to the grocery store, and I played a good hour of the game boy advance game Final Fantasy Tactics Advance. The game had been lost for years till I found it in a duffel bag I haven’t used for years. It’s a fun game, what can I say.

My parents get home, mom seems to be in a decent mood. I am sitting on the couch eating my breakfast, a bowl of frosted mini wheats. She says “Is that your first breakfast?” as if to insinuate that I eat more than one. Which would be false, of course. I don’t eat at all between breakfast and lunch. God people. I don’t even always eat breakfast. Sometimes I don’t because I don’t feel the need to.

Then, my mom gets on the computer at home and gets all pissed because it’s fucking up. Last night, my brother was trying to make a music video and was trying to rip music from a cd. But it was one of those weird enhanced cd crap or something, so he had to install something before it would let him get music off of it. And even then, it wouldn’t import to windows movie maker. I don’t know the entire thing, I wasn’t there the whole time. But my mom starts bitching about she told “you guys” not to download anything like two years ago and it still happened, yadda yadda. Which, I haven’t been allowed on the home computers for about a month now, so I just asked that she didn’t get pissed at me for something I didn’t even do. Then, it turns into a discussion about how she purposely left a basket of clothes out for several days to see if ‘someone’ would take the hint and fold them, and then about how I always bitch about having to do anything.

Here we freaking go.

First off, I’ve been getting a lot better at that. I don’t even care much at all about having to do the things I bitch about, bitching is just an automatic response, a terrible habit I’ve been trying to rid myself of. Secondly, my mother always like to assume I should “just know” when she wants me to do something. But here’s the thing. If it doesn’t bother me, I don’t notice. Plain and simple.

If you want me to do something, ask me to do it, don’t just assume that I can read your mind and automatically know what you want done. Good god. We’ve been through that before. I don’t want to make it sound like my mom has all the fault because she doesn’t, but it’s just…  ugh.  Then we got into a thing where she was saying she never bitches at David because, I can’t remember the exact wording, but something to the effect of he didn’t fuck up as much as me.

Here’s the thing. My brother has told me several times that the reason he doesn’t fuck up nearly as much as I do is because he saw me fuck it up first. As in, he’s learned from me, and I’m glad, but if he were the first child, I could very well be the one who got everything right because I’d had someone to fuck it up first. So I saw what not to do. So he’d be the one constantly getting bitched at. I don’t wish that upon him at all, but… it just makes me angry. Whenever anything is wrong, it seems I get blamed automatically, whether or not they know if I could actually have done it.

It could be a lot worse, though, and I realize that. It just torked me off a little. That it started out about being mad about the computer not working and ended up at a reason to be pissed at me. I know they don’t mean to but it seems like every reason to be pissed, whether it has anything to do with me or not, they always seem to in the end relate it back to me. And I know I might cause people some grief, but I don’t cause it all.


Not being able to drive and not being allowed to use the computers at home is good for me, I walk to the library a lot more often. And I’ve done a few drawings that might not have been done had I been allowed regular computer usage. I even sorted out my dresser and found an entire grocery bag full of clothes to get rid of. As well as some old toys and stuff I can get rid of.  So it’s not all bad, I suppose.

Anyway. On to lighter stuff. A few days ago, I found Beatles vinyl in the form of the “Help!” soundtrack… The album cover is a bit water damaged, and the record’s a tad warped, but holy shit. I also got a copy of Led Zeppelin I, in the same shape as the first record. I paid ten bucks, but the Beatles and Zep are two of a very exclusive collection of bands I would pay that much for. Queen and Def Leppard being included, and possibly Elton John even though he isn’t a band. xD Well. I’m off to check the like 100 emails I probably have since I last checked.