Well, I found out why I’ve been so disproportionately tired and cranky the past couple days. My ever-s0-lovely monthly gift began today. The reason why I didn’t think my bad moods and such were related to that is because I’m early. I had almost another week before I was supposed to get it.
Also, usually a couple days prior to getting it, I’ll feel like nothing is quite real and I’ll feel really spacey and such, but I didn’t get that feeling until after my monthly gift began. One thing I did notice that I don’t usually have is I’ve been oddly clumsy the past couple of days.
I am usually a pretty goofy, fairly clumsy, forgetful person, but it’s just been worse the past couple of days. I’ll accidentally run into things, knock things over, spill things, forget things. I forgot the laundry I put in the washer, I forgot to put butter in the banana bread I made yesterday… It’s just no fun.
I still haven’t gotten anything from my newspaper manager in response to the email I sent him telling him I put in my 30 days notice. If I don’t get an email back tomorrow, I’m goddam calling his number. Thirty days from yesterday I WILL be done delivering the paper.
You know why? Because I got the job at kmart. I was going to be done in a month before I knew I got the other job, but this makes it easier for me to give up the paper route and not feel bad.
Henceforth, I will be calling my future workplace K because I don’t want them to be able to search my name and the store name and be able to come up with a million hits. Which is wishful thinking at this point, since no one reads this blog. However, in this day and age, I am not going to put it past an employer to google my name.
This morning before I even knew I’d gotten the job, I was having an anxiety attack over it. Basically, I knew how bad I needed the job, but I was freaking out. What if I’m not fast enough? What if I’m not what they wanted? What if I don’t sell enough credit cards? I’ve never used a cash register before, which they knew. I also can’t do any kind of math in my head worth a damn, and as a result I’m not very good at counting out change. I can do it, it just takes me a little bit longer.
The thing I’m most worried about is my back and knees. If you didn’t know, I hurt my back when I was a hotel housekeeper during the summer of 2007. Well, it wasn’t technically my back. It was with my left hip socket, and how the thigh bone moves around in said socket. Several years ago the doctor recommended that I get an xray and some physical therapy but I didn’t because I’m poor.
I really do want to work as hard as I can, but between my lingering back issue and my terrible, terrible knees I can only physically be on my feet for so long before I have to sit down. I wonder if I’d have to have something official from a doctor to allow me to have a chair around when I’m working cash registers.
Of course, all this cash register insecurity isn’t completely founded, because something else they might have me do is be a greeter and ask people if they want to sign up for a credit card right as they walk in the door.
But then… I had a friend work for the same company, but at a different store, and she said they could get penalized for not selling enough credit cards. I will try as hard as I possibly can, but the bottom line is, if people don’t want something, THEY ARE NOT GOING TO BUY IT. No matter how cheery and inviting someone is, no matter what the rewards might be. If they don’t want it, they’re not going to buy it no matter how much you try to persuade them that they should.
One thing I do want to do is treat customers well and make them enjoy the shopping experience so they’ll want to continue shopping there. However, if the one thing they remember about a visit to the store is that someone badgered them about buying a credit card, do you think they’ll want to come back?
I’m still having my anxieties over it, but it’s not an immediate concern because orientation is on Tuesday from 1-3. I don’t want it to ruin possibly my very last weekend of freedom.
Speaking of freedom, I need to make sure I’m not working next Saturday (a week from tomorrow) because my family and I will be out of town.
Anyway, I still have some fucking dishes to do so I’m going to hurry and get done with this piece of crap blog
+A bowl of cereal.
+A chicken taco.
+Another chicken taco. Yeah. So much variety.
Also, I had a few of these animal cracker things, a piece of cheese, a cucumber, a bar, and I think that’s it.