Fly away far away
Spread your little wings and fly away
Fly away far away
Pull yourself together
‘Cos you know you should do better
That’s because you’re a free man…
-Queen, “Spread Your Wings”.
Hello again. As I am still currently disallowed from using the computer at home, this entry comes to you from the public library. For that reason I’ll try not to make this entry too terribly vulgur, in case someone happens to glance at my screen at an inopportune time. 😉
Still. I wanted to write about something that is bothering me a bit. But we’ll get to that later in the entry.
First, I shall recount my day whether you want to read about it or not. ;3
It’s only my second day of classes, and I’m already moving like clockwork, although I was a bit too early getting to my first class, so I had time to talk to some friends a bit, scarf down a pop tart, and drink some chocolate milk like it would soon go out of style.
My one class today was, once again, a bit strange. Well… knowing our teacher… She is peppy, happy, hyperactive, bubbly… just about every word you can think of that relates to that sort of personality. But.. she’s not squeaky clean or anything (she says ‘hell’ and ‘damn’ in class if that gives you any idea)… If I’d met her any earlier in my life she probably would have annoyed me, but now I suppose I appriciate it… And, if nothing else, she is very entertaining…
After that, I could have gone home but I chose to stay and use that time to talk with my friends… but our group isn’t as large as it was last year, so I can’t say it was too eventful. Chad was there for a bit, and he looked a bit bummed, so I asked him about it. All he said was he was having trouble with a certain you-know-who which I will not give the pleasure of naming again in here, and that he didn’t want to talk about it. I gave him a hug, which seemed an innocent enough of an idea (I see a friend sad, so I give them a hug; it’s like a natural reaction), but in that 10-20 seconds, my mind wanted to start getting ideas that didn’t really do me any good last time around.
I’m no fool; I’m not going to try rushing into things the second I sniff out troubles with the wifey (like I did the first time), but I can’t help stewing the matter over in my head for a bit.
Chances are, if you have read my blog regularly at all, you know the story of this guy. If you are new, I’ll give an overview. If you know the story, skip ahead to the asterisks.
Chad announced he’s getting a divorce. I had had a crush on him for a bit, and I heard so later he’d mentioned how I was attractive…. So we completely rush into things, and against what I had expected, I fall head over FREAKING heels for this guy in like, a week. It might seem feeble, but I’ve been in love once before… the first time lasted for months but was a stupid tea light compared to this roaring campfire… So for three weeks, I could take on the world. Then, he breaks it off, which I later find out was part of a plan to reconcile with his wife. She found someone else and after Chad broke up with me, she wasn’t so sure she wanted to go through with it anymore. I did reconcile with Chad before the school year ended, though…
***Anyway. A short time before school started I got bored and was looking at random profiles on my Myspace friend list, and noticed Chad had his status back to ‘married’. I figured he and the wife had finally solved their problems and were getting on well with each other.
Not the case. They are having problems again, though as to the severity of these problems, I can only guess. Still…
It seems to me a bit like getting beaten up over and over again and then going back for more. It’s almost like the definition of insanity; doing the same thing over again and expecting a different outcome. Although I must point out that I do not know the wife extremely well, and there are probably a few things that I’m not hearing about.
Still… It seems to me that one would learn from previous actions. Even if the blame is divided between both parties as it usually is, wouldn’t you notice that every time, it’s an endless roller coaster ride of really, really bad times, and some not so bad ones.
Sometimes, people love each other but simply cannot be married or live together… Sometimes, things just get rushed into, no matter how madly in love people seem at the beginning.
Keep in mind that this is all speculation from my standpoint. I wasn’t there, so ultimately I don’t know the entire story. Maybe the two are just treading on some rough turf and all will be tread over eventually. Yes, I know I probably should have listened to the wife before, to anybody who wants to rub it in my face…
But, on the other hand…suppose this matter is truly the one that cannot be worked out… so… and I hate myself for thinking this, but… maybe it’ll turn out I wasn’t wrong about this after all.