Dreams of falling – dreams of flying. A man who never dreams goes slowly mad….

…I will stay with you, I will dream with you, if you need me to. Anytime, anywhere, in a corner of your mind’s eye…
-Thomas Dolby, “Valley of the Mind’s Eye”.

Hello there. I hope everyone is doing well. As for me, I can’t complain. Actually, I can, and I usually do, but for the moment I’ll put that aside. 😉

So as you may or may not know, my first day at PM Park is tomorrow. I’ve been slightly nervous ever since I was told I’d get the job, but I’m considerably moreso now. I’m assuming the lady knows that I only wash dishes.. I can’t cook, and my demeanor doesn’t allow for serving patrons face to face, but if there is one thing I can do, it’s dishes. I get enough practice, I do dishes damn near every day at home. I used to whine and complain when I was told to do the dishes, but now I really don’t care too much. Either that, or I’ve unearthed a fragment of maturity. Who knows.

But… I’ll be getting paid to wash dishes. The only thing I’m really worried about are the people. At any job I’ve ever had, there has only been one where I was even close to being comfortable around the people, and that was Heartland Inn. Weirdly, to get to PM Park, I have to drive past Heartland Inn. It’s ironic, but it could also be symbollic, in an ‘off to find greener pastures’ sort of way.

After a while, I can imagine being comfortable with the people I’ll be forced to be in contact with at PM Park. To put it frankly, I can’t fuck this one up. If it weren’t for my connections (what with my brother working there last summer, etc), I’d be in the same damn place that I was just a week or two ago… No job in sight, and.. well, if you read these at all, you’ll know that I’m horrible about repeating things, so I’ll leave it at that. I just wasn’t in a good spot.

I’m in a better one now. I have a job. Once I get paid, I’ll have the means to finally get my camera back. I’ve been without for three and a half months now, but you’ve heard all about that (and I was just talking about how bad I am at repeating things).

I also have a little bit of hope in another area, again. I’m a member of a dating site I joined on a whim because I had nothing better to do. I’ve had a few guys start talking to me only to stop sending or answering messages. It doesn’t offend me that much, because talking to me doesn’t tie them down or anything, but it does get a little disheartening sometimes.  I also get disturbed, because every 32-37 year old on that site seems to message me. It’s like, I’m sure you’re a nice guy and all, but with that big of an age difference (not to mention past experience in that area) I’m not sure such a big gap is one I could bridge.

Anyway, I am currently talking to a guy who sounds really sweet. Even if it doesn’t end up going anywhere, it’s nice to have a little bit of hope. Even if it’s temporary, hope feels good sometimes, I must say. I hope it goes somewhere, but only time will tell, I guess.

Anyway, you all have a good night and get some rest before work. For once, I’ll be doing the same.